Monkey Number 1 Says

2010-05-03T10:38:00.002-07:00

Local officials are issuing a public warning for wednesday May 5th to all local taxi and transportation workers. The warning comes in light of knowledge of a young male who is known to frequent the local nightclubs, is to arrive in town. This individual has a history of attacking defenseless cab drivers. He is regarded as a dangerous offender and likely to re-offend. The individual known as Patrick Kane once assaulted a minority taxi driver over 20 cents. If you should see this man. Please stay away from him and do not pick him up. Doing so would be putting your life at risk. If you should see Mr. Kane, do not approach him.

"It is our assessment that the public need to be armed with the knowledge of these events, so they can take the necessary steps to secure their homes, cabs, busses and vehicles.", states Ryan Kesler of the Vancouver Canucks Local Hockey club . "We are doing everything possible to identify and apprehend this individual. If you can help us in any way, please call Rick Rypien.

2010-04-16T11:37:00.003-07:00

Really, that wasn't a high stick? Even if the Zebras missed it, surely the guilty fellas name was on the end of the stick danging fron Hank's head??? Great game, even an 11 year old from the Isle of Man was loving it. Can't wait til tomorrow's game.

2010-03-04T10:59:00.003-08:00

Tiger Woods' caddie Steve Williams claims he would have "blown the whistle" if he had known of the world number one's affairs.

Speaking in an interview that aired on 60 Minutes in his native New Zealand, Williams insisted he would not have remained silent if he had any knowledge of what was happening off the course.

"In some people's perception, I'm involved in it and I've committed a crime or I've done wrong," Williams said. "The truth is I knew nothing.

"If the shoe was on somebody else's foot I would say the same thing, that it would be difficult not to know, but I'm telling you 100 per cent that I knew nothing.

"It's been the most difficult time of my life ... because every single person believed that I should know or did know or had something to do with it.

"I'm a straight-up sort of person. No-one that has ever watched him on a golf course would suspect anything would be going on. I'm under siege, it's been a difficult time.

"If I had known something was going on, the whistle would have been blown."

Williams added that while he is angry with the 14-time major winner he will not be "beating him with a stick" as a result of his behaviour and has no intention of severing their association.

"Of course I'm mad at him, why would you not be?" Williams said. "I'm close with his wife and he's got two lovely children and he's let them down.

"But when a guy's having a tough time, it's not up to me to beat him with a stick. He's getting enough grilling from everybody else. When you're a true friend ... that's when somebody needs your support ... that's when you don't walk away.

"Tiger's one of my closest friends and he needs my support right now and I'd never think of walking away. When I talk to him, I don't talk to him about what's happened. I talk to him about the future and about what we're going to try to accomplish and how we're going to get over it."

Well, further proof that Tiger's caddy is a douche and covering his ass hoping for another gig. Ten to One that tiger comes back with Fluff to carry the bag. Hopefully he pries his back from Furyk, and goes back to a professional he never should have dropped. Sure Fluff did alright, but the Kiwi got way to rich while acting like the biggest ass on tour.

2010-03-01T20:43:00.003-08:00

Thanks to Lex, and Evan before him for the photo. And damn you Geo for being a weenie. Geo was high and mighty that the evil Americans would win, but backed out on a bet for steak at Gotham's when I wouldn't front him goals in the game. I battled back with 'the Yanks are undefeated' and he countered with 'the Canadian team has home ice.' I boo you like you booed Sarah Doc...Boooooooooo! Wonderful hockey, it was all anyone would talk about today at work: tremendous thing.

2010-02-28T19:58:00.004-08:00

Well kids. This is my watch, had her for years and quite enjoy wearing her. I've always had a problem with the pins from the band coming loose from the body of the watch itself. Thought I'd take a photo of said watch nestled atop of some vegaetables for to nights dinner and point out something...I freaked out when Sid the Kid scored, jumping up, pumping my arms and clapping like a mad man. The watch flew off my wrist and came to rest about 20 ft. away. And it doesn't work anymore...but is forever frozen in time. So, question...do I keep it as it is, and commemorate the moment somehow, or do I fix it? A wee problem, so proud of our country right now!

2010-02-24T20:59:00.002-08:00

2010-02-24T20:23:00.003-08:00

Step aside Marty, there's a new kid in town. And me thinks he's gonna take us all the way. Can't wait to watch Friday's game in its entirety. This work bullshit gets in the way of enjoying the Olympics. Another four Canadian metals today...gotta like it.

2010-02-22T21:08:00.002-08:00

Take us to the promised land Lou...wake this club up and take em all the way!!!!

2010-02-21T21:07:00.003-08:00

A few words in my return to posting here:

Shutter Island is perhaps the best film of the year,

Wolfman was not.

I enjoy pruning, and love being truly in love.

My new mutt ain't a Border Collie, but is loveable none the less.

Luongo will start on Tuesday...Proger is still scum...

More to come...

2009-12-13T11:53:00.002-08:00

Well, off to change out the thermostat in the 'new to me' Volvo. Thanks Slick. Hopefully it won't be too horrible. Gonna take Mickey with us with us for a little more human interaction. He's doing very well, and seems just plain happy to be with a family who loves him. The more time I spend with him, the more I suspect he's come from a family that tried hard and gave up. If I'm correct, then they made a huge mistake. He's got all the basic commands down, and is eager to learn, please, love and be loved. He loves his Momma, his Dad, and shows a contentment I wish I saw more of in humanity. At this time of year, we ought be thankful for what we have, not what we crave. To those of us enjoying where we're at, High Five - to those without - hope the sunshine comes calling, and your days become as bright as it seems for this wee man I feel so fortunate to have as a part of the family.

2009-12-12T12:11:00.002-08:00

Yet another brilliant Michael Mann film. Depp wonderful, as was the rest of the cast. The tow 'elder' cops almost outshone Bale, albeit with very few lines. All in all, a beautifully crafted piece with shots and visual that will leave you gasping for air. Highly recommend this one, and pretty much anthing Mann graces us with.

2009-12-10T17:01:00.003-08:00

Welcome Mickey....he's beyond wonderful. I only pray that Bailey approves; Hiram likes him: so all is well in the Robertson animal kingdom. Thanks to Jo and Jon for the support this afternoon.

2009-12-10T09:02:00.003-08:00

Some out of order photos...I ain't so good with technology. Story was supposed to from top to bottom, but alas, it's bottom to top.

Jo makes her first burgers to be BBQ'ed in Canada. She got a lovey package of lean bison and lean beef from the Meat Shop at TRU. Made the patties herself, and we had enough to freeze a few. Enjoyed said burgers with carrots from the garden, a lovely salad, and home made fries (thanks for the tip btw baby!).

Hiram sleeps while we enjoy said burgers, because he never bothers us while we cook or enjoy our dinners. Cough cough.

Having that much food, but still feeling peckish - I opt to eat the cat, raw and whole. Tasty those Siamese, spicy almost. Hint of oregano for some reason.

We smile, knowing we're full and now saving approximately eight thousand dollars a month in cat food.

2009-11-24T14:08:00.003-08:00

Back to the dust in the morning...

2009-11-24T11:11:00.002-08:00

Think I'd like to visit the Isle of Mann, seems that nice folk come from there.

2009-11-24T10:07:00.002-08:00

Been almost two months since you've been gone girl, and I still find myfelf calling out to you everyday. Hope the sticks are tasty wherever you are. Miss you Babygirl - RIP

2009-07-01T14:00:00.001-07:00

The Steamer just looks pissed...

2009-07-01T08:48:00.000-07:00

Twins are officially signed...now what???

2009-06-23T09:07:00.002-07:00

A High School pal passes...thought I'd post it here for the peeps to check in.

Kamloops – Ed Patterson remembers former teammate Dale Masson as a quiet guy with a terrific sense of humour.

Masson, a goaltender who played parts of four seasons with the WHL's Kamloops Blazers, died Saturday near Calgary. He was 36.

Masson spent much of his time with the Blazers backing up Corey Hirsch, but, according to Patterson, he accepted his role and was a good teammate.

“He was a quiet guy, a nice guy and a big part for our team when we won,” said Patterson, who played two seasons with Masson. “He never caused too much trouble when he was the backup for Corey.”

Masson, a lawyer in Calgary, collapsed and died while running in the Kananaskis 100-mile race, a 10-person relay that starts in Longview, southwest of Calgary, and ends at Nakiska ski hill. He leaves a wife, Tanya, and two sons — Wyatt, 2, and Sam, two months.

Masson, an Edmonton native, joined the Blazers in 1989 and played in Kamloops until he was dealt to the Victoria Cougars for goaltender Steve Passmore during the 1992-93 season. In 1991-92, when the Blazers won their first Memorial Cup, Masson appeared in 29 games and had a 3.68 GAA.

Masson is the third former member of the Blazers to die in the last 13 months. Mike Mathers, who played in Kamloops from 1990-93, died in his sleep in St. Albert, Alta., on June 1, 2008. On Nov. 29, Michael Maniago, who was a Blazers goaltender from 2004-07, died in a car crash in Calgary.

Upon graduating from the WHL, Masson attended the U of Alberta and played five seasons with the Golden Bears, the last four as starter. In his final season (1998-99), he backstopped the Golden Bears to the CIAU national championship in Saskatoon.

Masson went on to play two seasons of pro hockey, spending time with the ECHL's Pensacola Ice Pilots and the Central league’s Wichita Thunder and San Antonio Iguanas, before returning to the U of Alberta to study law.

Masson got his law degree in 2004 and was working for Burnet, Duckworth and Palmer in Calgary. According to the firm’s website, Masson, who was called to the bar in 2005, specialized in securities and corporate law. His profile picture on the website bdplaw.com shows a smiling Masson wearing a blocker and leaning on a goalie’s mask.

Patterson, who guessed that he last spoke with Masson 15 years ago, was shocked at the news of his death.

“He had a good sense of humour,” Patterson said. “He was a quiet guy, but when he dropped a joke, it was always funny.”

The BDP website noted that Masson was a participant on Team Burnet, Duckworth and Palmer for the Kananaskis 100-Mile Relay from 2005-08, meaning this was his fifth appearance in the race.

Masson also ran in the Calgary Police half-marathon on April 26, finishing in two hours five minutes 45 seconds.

Funeral arrangements have yet to be finalized, but the tentative plan is for a service to be held Friday in Calgary.

2009-06-12T09:29:00.001-07:00

Guess it was meant to be:

An Italian woman who missed the Air France flight that crashed into the Atlantic on May 31 has died in a car accident in Austria, according to an Italian media report.

Johanna Ganthaler, an Italian senior citizen, had been vacationing in Brazil with her husband, Kurt. They were due to take Air France Flight 447 from Rio De Janeiro to Paris on May 31, but missed it after arriving late at the airport.

The plane crashed into the Atlantic four hours after takeoff. All 228 aboard lost their lives.

The Ganthalers flew to Germany the next day. Upon landing in Munich, the two rented a vehicle and decided to drive home, Italy's ANSA news agency reported Thursday. While driving through Kufstein, Austria, their vehicle swerved into the opposite lane, hitting a truck.

Ganthaler died at a local hospital, while her husband remains in critical condition, ANSA reported. It was not immediately clear when she died.

2009-06-08T10:09:00.001-07:00

Proof that Hockey beat writers IN US backwater just don't get the game:

I don't like the Pittsburgh Penguins.

They remind me of how smug the Colorado Avalanche used be when we couldn't stand Patrick Roy, whiny Joe Sakic and Peter Forsberg.

The ghost of Claude Lemieux is traveling with Pittsburgh during the finals as this talented bunch of so-called superstars have become an ice gang of crybaby cheap-shot artists. They know they are the weaker team next to the big Red Wings machine.

The good part about the bad blood in this series is Red Wings fans now have a team to hate for the next decade in Pittsburgh. Five games with the Chicago Blackhawks provided a platform for a future regional rivalry but pales in comparison to the ugly side of hockey we have witnessed from the Pittsburgh bench in this series.

A lot of people have been waiting so long to despise a hockey team and individuals as much as we did Colorado back in the day. This is good for hockey and good for the Red Wings.

Watching Detroit crush the Penguins on Saturday night was as fulfilling as anything I have ever witnessed in sports. Even better than when the Red Wings got Roy pulled in that epic Western Conference final Game 7.

The sad part of this story is that Penguins coach Dan Bylsma, a Grand Haven native, never played the game the way his team has played in the finals.

The showboating and headhunting has no place in hockey. It's obvious Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin are the malcontents who run the show and when their game is on they dance and throw it in the face of their opponents. Did Stevie Yzerman or Wayne Gretzky ever show up other teams?

When the little baby Penguins are frustrated, they can't handle it and lose it on the ice for all to see. Great teams and great players win and lose with class like the Red Wings.

This ridiculous comparison of Sidney Crosby to Gretzky is propaganda spewing out of the NHL front office on the Nothing But Crosby network (NBC).

The Great One respected the game and never would resort to the dirty tactics Crosby delivered in Game 5 and his constant complaining to the officials.

Lets be honest about Crosby. He's got great talent with an immature side to him that probably will never see a Stanley Cup trophy parade as long as the Red Wings are in business. He knows this and it kills him so the little sniper and his Russian buddy Malkin bask in the glory of home ice but have curled into the fetal position on the road in Detroit.

Crosby is no superstar until he gets multiple Cups. Pavel Datsyuk and Henrik Zetterberg of the Red Wings are more complete players than Crosby and Malkin.

The Game 5 win was a message to all that the Red Wings still are the class of hockey on this planet and plan on staying at the top for a long time.

The beauty of what will be a win over the Pens compared to last year is that the Red Wings became a better hockey team while Pittsburgh's thuggery lowered the street value of Malkin and Crosby.

If Crosby wants to be Gretzky he had better start winning some Cups and respecting his opponents. Malkin will never be a star outside of Pittsburgh and his homeland because he has no respect for the game.

Maybe one day Bylsma will be able to show them how to win and lose with dignity. If you're a hockey mom or dad you want your kids to be like the Red Wings and not the Penguins.

E-mail Bill Simonson: huge@grpress.com

2009-05-17T10:52:00.004-07:00

One dead after double shooting at Cloverdale hotel

Guess I need to find a new place to stay in Jan. The titty bar in this hotel is overrun by a gang called the 'White Boy Posse.' Seems the inevitable finally happened.

2009-05-08T14:05:00.001-07:00

Too good not to post:

Researchers are trying to make a bulletproof turban that would allow Sikhs in British police to join firearms units.

As Sikhs aren't allowed to wear any protective headgear over the turban so the UK prohibits them from becoming firearms officer. But now, scientists are developing the sturdy turbans made from Kevlar-like material to act as a shield, British newspapers reported on Thursday.

Inspector Gian Singh Chahal, from Kent Police and vice-chairman of the British Police Sikh Association, said on Thursday: "Sikh officers have been prohibited from becoming firearms officers because our religion does not allow us to remove the turban. Nor can we wear the Nato helmet for public order policing."

"There has been research done into producing a ballistic material for turbans and we would like to follow any opportunity where we could manufacture a ballistic product", the Sun quoted Singh as saying.

2009-05-07T22:27:00.000-07:00

LOST....

2009-05-04T14:21:00.002-07:00

In my return to blogging, I made light about what I wanted in my house. For the record: below is what I want. Truly, Madly, and Deeply.

Other than Erin and Noah - I only want the Nucks to win the Cup, and no girly soaps! Kidding about the soaps, she actually brought me a very manly mint soap. Lucky man I am, truly.

2009-05-04T09:16:00.003-07:00

3 goals, 3 assists in five games played this post season. Left the ice immediately after scoring an absolute beaut - here's hoping the glass man returns soon, we're gonna need him me thinks:

Especially considering he can inflict this kinda damage:

Go boys!

2009-05-04T08:02:00.002-07:00

Morning y'all - long time no chat. I thought I'd try and get blogging again with a wee rant regarding customer service these days.

Last week I had to pick up a padlock for a storage locker Erin and I had to rent in order to store away all her candles, girly soaps, satin pillows and other things I wouldn't allow in my home. (Yeah, I know - I'll catch shit for that one!) Anyhoo, wander into ye olde Crappy Tire on 8th. I've been frequenting this license to print money shit hole for as long as I can remember. So I peruse locks, and settle on one for about ten bones. There is a shitload of them hanging there by the way.

Make it up to the till, and it comes through at $18. I'm in no rush, so I apologize - thinking I may have misread the signage, or grabbed the wrong item and offer to go and re-check. Sure enough, there it is - I'm right; and they are wrong. Return to the till and inform the grade two dropout that $10 is the price. Now, let me make this clear - this gal is none to bright, not a flicker of intelligence in her eye. I say eye cuz I think one of them may have been glass, or maybe coal. Anyhow, she repeats that $18 is the cost. I politely tell her that is NOT what the posted price is. She wanders off to check, thinking I'm some sort of drooling, short bus traveling type.

Anyhow - no shit here; she's gone for about five min. and there is a lineup starting to form. You know the type; kids with bottles of ether and fistfuls of Crappy Tire Money. So seriously, she's gone for AGES, and I wander back to the section marked 'Security' and there she is, knee high in padlocks - rearranging the entire display! I almost want to laugh out loud, but instead ask her what she's doing. She agreed that the display had been 'sorted wrong' and that I was right, and the till was wrong. I remind her that she was, in fact, running the till - and that some kids seemed rather twitchy to rush out behind the dumpster with their cans of ether.

The following, also, isn't a joke...she replied 'Oh yeah - shit!' So I follow said bimbo back to the till, almost killing myself trying to get over the locks she'd laid out in no apparent order. So, I'm assuming I'm gonna get the lock for the price it was marked, and get this: she rings it through and requests the full price...AGAIN. Now I'm fed up, I tell her I'll pay what it was on the shelf at, and not a fucking cent more. She'll need the manager to authorize this, she tells me. Out comes the radio, an anxious back and forth, and said flunkie appears and tells me that if it was a $5 difference, she'd be happy to do it, but with such a shocking difference (Egad!) she just can't. I am almost speechless, I want to swear but don't. She tells me it was a mistake. Can't I understand this? I can.

I tell her that sending me out of the store without my lock is a mistake. I tell her sending out a loyal 21 yr. customer is a mistake. Shopping there that morning was my mistake, one I won't make again. I left, got it at Home Hardware in Westsyde, felt good about supporting my 'Hood, and enjoyed the conversation I had with the old fella who runs the joint.

Lesson learned I suppose.

2009-03-30T12:27:00.002-07:00

"...AND THE NHL WANTS TO BAN THIS? For those of you in the Chicago area yesterday, that sudden burst of sweet humidity you felt was the simultaneous moistening of thousands of panties after this amazing melee at the Blackhawks game."

Good match last night - though I suspect a fine or suspension for Burr's little hair pulling incident....

2009-03-27T17:20:00.001-07:00

Please see Geo's blo for further info on these "random shots." HeeHee.

2009-03-22T14:37:00.001-07:00

A Motley Crue indeed - what the hell was with that game last night? No offense for a change; playing down to their opponent - me not likey.

2009-03-19T15:56:00.001-07:00

My oldest pal and I at the game on Sunday...there are loads of other fine photos I will post, but I'll wait until my Fiance (cool eh) touches them up with her magic before I post em. See the trick here boys? Take bad photos, but make sure you marry a gal who can fix em....

2009-03-18T08:49:00.000-07:00

SPOTTY teenager Sam Cummings has been nicknamed Craphead Slaphead because his acne spells out the word A-R-S-E. The unfortunate 16-year-old, from Berkshire, says he has suffered from the spotty skin condition for years and has always had to put up with remarks about his blemishes from cruel classmates. But things took a turn for the worse for the Titherton Secondary schoolboy when he woke up one morning this week and found his out of control zits had merged - and formed the word arse. He said: “I’ve always had bad skin and didn’t think things could get any worse, but obviously I was wrong. He added: “The kids at school have been ripping the piss out of me. It’s been hell and I can’t do anything about it. “ “The other day some of the bigger lads dragged me into the toilet and tried to flush my head down the shitter because they said that’s where an arse belongs.

2009-03-13T13:47:00.003-07:00

Mucho thanks to Dan (pictured) and Mark. They are the owners of the totally rockin, kick ass, sweet coffee shop that I haunt. Turns out they had a pair of Nucks tix they can't take advantage of, and therefore put out a draw box for em. Guess who won? Jerseyed it up, and went down to collect today. JFu and I are making a trip down on Sun....back Mon. Thanks again to Karma - supporting local business' does pay off!

2009-03-11T13:38:00.001-07:00

My lovely lady and I...ain't she gorgeous? Luck man this monkey is. Happy one year+ Love.

2009-03-09T10:07:00.002-07:00

http://www.canucksnews.ca/

Uh really - there is not much more than I can say...follow the link. Watch the most retarded Canuck's fan ever. It's truly some spooky shit - this guy obviously had a very heavy branch fall at some point and hit him squarely on the melon. Wow - crown shots in the attic between periods, who hasn't done that? Luongo to shut em out tonight....

2009-03-06T16:06:00.002-08:00

A Fucking disgrace - 52 priors...not allowing a family member to intervene...getting caught with booze while denied access...allowing your children to die, and all the while playing the 'aboriginal' card...a fucking disgrace.

A Saskatchewan man whose two young daughters froze to death when he took them into a snowstorm while he was drunk has been sentenced to three years in prison.

Christopher Pauchay pleaded guilty to one count of criminal negligence causing the deaths of Kaydance, 3, and Santana, 15 months, on the Yellow Quill First Nation, about 230 kilometres east of Saskatoon in January 2008.

Pauchay, 25, was drunk when he took his two girls outside in blizzard-like conditions. The girls, who weren't dressed for cold weather, were later found dead of hypothermia.

Prior to sentencing, Saskatchewan Provincial Court Judge Barry Morgan heard recommendations from an aboriginal sentencing circle.

While Morgan was not bound by those recommendations, the circle suggested Pauchay should not go to prison but should be reunited with his wife, Tracey Jimmy, and their other child.

The group also recommended Pauchay receive drug and alcohol treatment, and assist elders with cultural and spiritual activities.

Pauchay's wife made a passionate plea for the judge not to send her husband to jail.

Crown prosecutor Marylynne Beaton had argued Pauchay should serve a sentence of 2½ to five years in prison. The defence said the judge should consider a non-jail conditional sentence.

In passing sentence Friday, the judge said Pauchay lacked insight into his behaviour and wasn't willing to accept responsibility for what happened.

The case has cast light on social problems and substance abuse on Yellow Quill First Nation.

Pauchay will receive credit for time served in custody, the judge said. Pauchay was re-arrested last month for twice breaching bail conditions that prohibited him from using alcohol.

It was on Jan. 29, 2008, that an intoxicated Pauchay left his home some time after 12:30 a.m. with his two daughters, who were dressed only in T-shirts and diapers. Temperatures felt like — 50 C with the wind chill factor.

Pauchay was later found on a neighbour's doorstep around 5 a.m., suffering from hypothermia and frostbite.

Eight hours later, it was disclosed that the girls had been with him.

The frozen body of Santana was found that day, roughly 100 metres from the family’s home, and the next day, Kaydance's body was found by a search and rescue team.

Autopsies showed both girls died from hypothermia.

The prosecutor reminded the judge earlier this week that Pauchay told the sentencing circle he shouldn't have been charged with a crime because the incident was accidental.

But there was evidence Pauchay rejected help from a brother-in-law who offered to take the girls after realizing their father was drunk that night.

Pauchay had 52 prior convictions, most of them for failing to comply with court orders.

His defence lawyer, Ron Piche, said Pauchay was relieved he did not receive a harsher sentence.

Piche said there are no immediate plans for appeal

2009-02-18T09:24:00.002-08:00

Prior to yesterdays playoff like game against the Flamers, Coach Keenan made some jokes about Willie's illegally' long stick. So apparently Mitchell put together two shafts and used this stick in warmup. Good to see these players are maintaining a sense of humor. They obviously have some giggles in that dressing room, which always goes a long way. I'd have loved to see the look on Keenan's face, I bet he laughed his ass off.

2009-02-17T16:51:00.002-08:00

Hmmm - looking forward to Mat's return to Toronto on HNIC this weekend. This pic caught my eye, seems one of em has to hide his face, and the other does it out of necessity - hmm; wait...LOL...it should be an interesting game none the less. The one following it in Montreal ought be pretty cool too. Buggers.

2009-02-17T14:29:00.000-08:00

Some weekend lego action...

2009-02-17T14:25:00.001-08:00

The hockey rink behind Erin's place.

2009-02-17T14:20:00.002-08:00

My new remote and I! I was doing my best to look like a kid at Xmas. My alien technology has finally arrived...Only Erin will appreciate this shot, as she was the only witness to the pure look of bliss that crossed my face as I first encountered a uni-remote such as this while attempting to figure out a stranger's system in order to begin watching 'Lost.' Oh yeah, I'm onto season IV, and have spent approx. 53 hrs getting there. Hope you're laughing Baby...

Nucks 5-3 over the Flamers this eve....

2009-02-17T14:13:00.000-08:00

Just trying to keep up with m'lady...

2009-02-15T21:48:00.000-08:00

2009-02-12T22:07:00.000-08:00

2009-02-11T21:49:00.002-08:00

Not so good:

Very Good:

Penn's performance was outstanding, the rest of the film was unimaginative, poorly edited, and shot with the kind of gust one reserves for holiday snapshots. Very disappointed with this film.

2009-02-09T17:06:00.001-08:00

HAPPY ON THE PHONE...

NOT SO HAPPY ON THE PHONE...

Whew, all caught up - glad I'm not a member of 365 - strict rules with that contest!

Glad I made up my own...slag away....

2009-02-09T17:02:00.002-08:00

2009-02-09T16:58:00.001-08:00

My wee man following his favorite club!

2009-02-09T16:55:00.000-08:00

My lovely doing her afternoon stretches...

2009-02-09T16:48:00.001-08:00

Hiram doing his morning stretches

2009-02-06T08:52:00.001-08:00

This is clearly too good not to cut and paste. Pay attention to his excuse for missing court:

A self-described "vampyre" and former fringe political candidate faces charges for threatening a teenage girl who tried to break off their relationship by telling him she was actually a vampire hunter. John Alfred Sharkey, 44, of Toms River, N.J., was held in the Olmsted County jail Wednesday in lieu of $125,000 bail. He was charged last summer, but didn't appear in court until last month after he was arrested on a warrant. Sharkey, who calls himself the "The Impaler," ran as the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans party candidate for Minnesota governor in 2006, when he listed Princeton, Minn., as his address. The criminal complaint says he was running for president in 2007 when the 16-year-old Rochester girl wrote a message of support on his MySpace page. She told police they began dating online, and the threats began when she tried to break off the relationship. She told police that "in a desperate attempt" to get him to leave her alone, she had e-mailed him that she was a member of an elite vampire hunter society and that continuing their relationship would put him in danger. Her father told police he talked to Sharkey, but Sharkey continued to call the girl and write letters to her parents. Sharkey was supposed to appear in court here in August, but got a delay by saying he had been hurt in a pro wrestling match.

Well this story had a little bit of everything huh? First of all, I'm totally sold that this guy is a real vampyre. Because only real vampyres spell it with a "y" anymore. That's how you can tell the fake ones from the real ones. Anyway what did the police want this vampire/fringe presidential candidate to do when his girlfriend told him she was part of an elite vampire hunting society? I mean I’m no vampire expert but I’m pretty sure that’s code for I’m going to kill you. So I’d be fucking pissed too if I were him.

PS – Who hasn’t used the old "I got hurt in a pro wrestling match" excuse to skip a court appearance before?

2009-02-04T21:14:00.000-08:00

2009-02-04T21:10:00.000-08:00

2009-02-02T17:43:00.000-08:00

Ben's grow op!!!

2009-02-02T17:39:00.000-08:00

Kitchen Angles.

2009-02-02T17:36:00.001-08:00

TV show I'm currently hooked on

2009-02-02T17:33:00.001-08:00

Catching up - kite from Three Valley Gap, yet to be flown.

2009-01-29T13:29:00.001-08:00

Bailey loves her 'boney' - and YES, this photo was taken today...so accept the last photo as merely an extra. On another note, the Canucks suck ass - I'd love to rant, but I won't.

2009-01-29T09:21:00.001-08:00

Is Lindsay Lohan now an alien? You decide. If not, she can certainly star in 'Signs II'

2009-01-28T18:16:00.001-08:00

Thur's pic in advance - some of you kids got a little catching up to do...yeah Ron I'm talking to you - bugger - going to the game tonight with AlMac - regardless, happy Bday old man.

2009-01-28T17:14:00.001-08:00

2009-01-27T15:12:00.001-08:00

Some pals from the coffee shop:

2009-01-27T08:31:00.001-08:00

A wee tribute to the lovely Amber Nectar...

Man trapped by sofa sipped whisky

A man who became trapped beneath his sofa for two days said he survived by sipping from a bottle of whisky.

Joe Galliott, 65, lost his bearings during a power cut at his home in Yeovil, Somerset, and fell against the three-seater which toppled onto him.

Because of back problems, he was unable to free his 19-stone frame and remained stuck for 60 hours until a neighbour spotted him through the curtains.

He said a bottle of whisky, which had rolled within reach, kept him going.

"The whole settee tipped over catching me like a rat in a trap," he said

"I took a sip of [the whisky] and thought, well this isn't too bad."

Curtains closed

But after several hours without food or water, he admits, he became quite worried.

"It felt like a lifetime, you think you're there forever," he said.

The alarm was raised by a neighbour who had peered through the window, after becoming concerned that Mr Galliott's curtains had not been drawn for two days.

He spent five days recovering in hospital after his ordeal earlier this month.

Mr Galliott said he was keeping another bottle of whisky by the sofa "just in case."

2009-01-26T10:03:00.000-08:00

Today's pic - the CT machine from last night's scan:

And no smart asses - it was scanning my leg, not my head!

2009-01-25T18:56:00.002-08:00

Caught up!!!!!

This flock of birds arrived in the Mountain Ash in my back yard today. It's funny, cuz I've heard that the berries become fermented over the winter, and the birds get drunk. True enough - they looked a little wobbly. One even 'crashed.' Was quite a sight.

2009-01-25T18:54:00.000-08:00

And still more catching up:

Wolf tracks...I mean Bailey tracks on the deck!

2009-01-25T18:50:00.000-08:00

More Catch up...

This is where the magic happens...

2009-01-25T18:46:00.001-08:00

Playing Catch up....

Tile meets sleuter meets wood...

2009-01-21T00:17:00.001-08:00

Another desk shot - not very good, but I enjoy the shadow. Hiram enjoys looking cool. He does it well.

2009-01-20T18:37:00.002-08:00

What a speech. What a spectacle. I'm hopeful that I'll see a politician who transcends all, who can do what's needed south of the 49th; a politician who can help restore the USA to the great nation it once was. He (as always) moved me deeply as he spoke, and I can only pray that his words will ring true. When he spoke of uncurling a fist, and being able to shake that hand - I felt hope. Here's hoping...

2009-01-20T14:34:00.000-08:00

The view above my desk.

2009-01-18T22:53:00.002-08:00

Isn't he a cute wee lad? His eyes are completely his mothers, the grubby fingers are all his!

2009-01-18T11:23:00.000-08:00

Back Yard Snow Scene

2009-01-17T08:40:00.001-08:00

The melt begins...

I'm going to use my new camera for all of these shots, so I'm playing with the functions. On this one, I added a color filter, and cropped it.

2009-01-16T12:19:00.000-08:00

365 - Whatever. Welcome to the newest thing: 349!

2009-01-15T09:53:00.002-08:00

Welcome Back BIg Fella!

Well, Bobby Lou is finally back - in the two months he's been gone, the Nuckleheads have looked like a team without direction, a team without a leader. He's back!!! No more excuses...now if only 'The Glass Man' aka Salo could return his booming shot to the blue line; I'd feel much better. But apparently Salo caught an edge at practice (he was out with a fractured rib), fell down, and hurt himself again. This, coming from a guy who once broke his wrist slipping into the boards during training camp. Oh Sami - some calcium supplements perhaps? Tonights prediction: Van 4 - Pho 1.

2009-01-14T09:23:00.002-08:00

MMMMMMMMM

TASTY MOOSE.....

Erin enclosed this image in a set of National Geographic's best photographs from last year. It makes me sad I didn't get to hunt the past two seasons. I miss the yummy meat, but yearn even more for the privilege of witnessing sights like this one. The closest I've gotten to nature of late was hunting for an XMas tree. Like all hunts, it was an adventure. We passed up on many smaller specimens, only to settle for a larger, full bodied specimen. Not sure if I had the proper tags, licenses etc...

2009-01-14T09:08:00.002-08:00

Well, Well, Well...

The Saskatchewan man awaiting sentence in connection with the 2008 freezing deaths of his two little girls has been arrested and is in custody after allegedly breaching his release conditions by drinking alcohol.

Christopher Pauchay, 25, of Yellow Quill First Nation pleaded guilty last year to criminal negligence causing the deaths of Kaydance, 3, and Santana, 15 months.

Last week, Pauchay was in court where a judge ruled he would be sentenced by a sentencing circle, with his next court appearance set for Jan. 27.

I just don't get this one. This fella had 50 prior convictions. He let his children die while in a drunken stupor. He had to abide the peace, and refrain from drinking. He couldn't do that. It gets me wondering about a few things however:

Who within his community enabled him to drink again? The same peers who would be members of his 'sentencing circle?'

Who enabled him the cash to buy more booze? Oh wait - yeah, gotta go pay my taxes...

A forum poster summed it up like this:

There should be public outcry if this man is still allowed the benefit of a sentencing circle on January 27th.

According to news reports he was late for his court appearances more than once. If one breach was on December 14th why did they not arrest him again that day instead of a month later?

Not only does this last development indicate that he has no respect for the law but also that the Yellow Quill reserve is not capable of supervising the behaviour of Mr. Pachay either and therefore should have no say in the sentencing of this man. Most certainly he should not be allowed to serve his sentence in the community.

The courts have tried to accomodate and show respect for his culture and he obviously is incapable of doing the same. He was granted his sentencing circle and he has only rediculed the courts in thanks for the special considerations they allowed him and brought more shame to his community.

Mr. Pachay should now have to stand in a courtroom and face his sentence without the benefit of a sentencing circle the same way as any other Canadian would have to. I hope the judge has learned something from this whole fiasco too. One set of laws and one justice system for every Canadian...no exceptions.

Time to face the fire Mr. Pachay.

And I couldn't agree more...

2009-01-13T11:20:00.001-08:00

"Congratulations on purchasing the 2009 Mats Sundin!

This manual will assist you in getting to know your Mats Sundin and will maximize your enjoyment and efficiency of your new unit.

Made from the finest in Old World engineering (Pops was a charmer), the 2009 Mats Sundin is where Swedish style meets Scandinavian efficiency. It is specialized, talented and umlaut-free!

You’ve probably already noticed some major differences between this unit and one of our earlier models, like the 1995 Mats Sundin. That model came with long golden locks of hair whereas yours resembles a marble. While you lose a little in aesthetics, you gain by not having all that extra weight and frictional drag providing a smooth, efficient ride with great fuel economy.

The 2009 Mats Sundin is also larger (and roomier) than our 1995 model with slightly more girth and slightly less length (darned Mother Nature) and, although the size might be attractive, be careful not to misuse your new 2009 Mats. Too much banging into things will inevitably cause your model to falter (please be aware any fighting immediately voids your warranty).

Under the hood, the 2009 Mats Sundin has a slightly smaller engine than our earlier model, which shouldn’t be a factor unless it’s driven too far into the early summer. Historically, the Mats is a strictly winter-driving model. How it copes with on-ice conditions beyond the month of May is purely theoretical at this point. We have provided you with a toll-free hotline should the unthinkable occur, but must confess we haven’t actually had any need to man the phones up to this point.

Talking to your 2009 Mats Sundin is a pleasure. It is fluent in at least two languages and often has some very interesting things to say, although we have yet to determine what causes that annoying string of clichéd answers we’ve had so many complaints (from the Professional Hockey Writers’ Association) about.

Still, the 2009 Mats is a joy to be around and you can’t help but smile every time that cute accent enunciates a word uniquely or elongates the S’s as in the famous “PokerStarSSSSSSS dot net.”

When parking your 2009 Mats, we strongly suggest putting it between similar productive models that are also fast, skilled and prolific. The 2009 Mats has been abused terribly over the past 13 years - often being paired with sloths and models badly needing recalls - that has caused considerable undue wear and tear. If you take care of your 2009 Mats, it will take care of you*.

*Purchasing the 2009 Mats Sundin in no way guarantees any on-ice success. There are no implicit Stanley Cup promises, nor are there any assurances of achievement of any kind. Hell, we’re not even sure it can lift the darned thing."

2009-01-13T10:51:00.002-08:00

Here's hoping Mats plays with this kinda grit tonight, and ahem - stays the hell out of the penalty box. While sitting in the box in two out of three games he's played since coming to my beloved Nucks, the opposition has scored game winning goals. That's not a trend I hope to see continue. Apparently the Nuckleheads were bag skated yesterday, publicly called out by the coaches, and coming into tonights game with (surprise surprise) revamped lines. Taylor Pylon will skate with Sundin and Raymond. Raymond, by the way, can apparently skate like a billion miles in any given game without actually coming anywhere near the oppositions net. Demitra has apparently found AV's doghouse in a big way. He practiced on the fourth line yesterday. This move bewilders me. Demitra seems to be responsible defensively, and isn't getting much of a chance to gel with linemates given AV's love of juggling. Regardless of all this drivel, the good news is that God is due back tonight or Thurs. So there is something to be thankful for after all.

2009-01-12T22:47:00.001-08:00

MSNBC - Mack is one of a growing number of men — from construction workers to athletes and businessmen — who've found a passion for pantyhose, claiming they wear the hosiery for support, comfort and aesthetic purposes. Luckily, there are now pairs made specifically for men so that they don't have to ravage their wives’ or girlfriends’ dressers to nestle into a pair of nylons. The "mantyhose" comes in a variety of colors and designs, but, Katz says, basic black holds the title as most popular. "There are a lot of guys who like wearing the product because of the benefits — the support, the warmth — but the gender hang-ups about pantyhose are still so pervasive," he said. Many men who wear "mantyhose" say it isn't them or even other guys who are embarrassed —it's mostly their wives and girlfriends.

I’m going to be as clear and concise as I can with this one. If a dude wears mantyhose that means he’s gay or a cross dresser. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

2009-01-01T22:47:00.001-08:00

For Erin:

Found this while perusing that Canuck's chat board that I'm a wee bit hooked on.
Thought this might give you a giggle.

2008-12-18T15:56:00.002-08:00

Hurry back Lou, Mats is coming to play! Every contending club in the league has a hulking centerman, and now we do as well. Good work; I'm officially giddy - the Sedins now have room to play, and opposing clubs Dmen are gonna be spread thin trying to line up against a club who's already 8th in league scoring. This is gonna play out beautifully, mark my words.

2008-11-29T00:54:00.001-08:00

Happy Holidays:

As if I didn't need another yet another reason NEVER to go to Wal Mart"

A Wal-Mart worker has died after being trampled by a throng of shoppers shortly after a store opened Friday on Long Island in New York State, police said.

Frenzied shoppers desperate for bargains broke down the doors at a 5 a.m. sale. Other workers were trampled as they tried to rescue the man, and customers shouted angrily and kept shopping when store officials said they were closing because of the death, police and witnesses said.

At least four other people, including a woman who was eight months pregnant, were taken to hospitals for observation or minor injuries, and the store in Valley Stream on Long Island closed for several hours before reopening.

Shoppers stepped over the man on the ground and streamed into the store. When told to leave, some complained that they had been in line since Thursday morning.

Cleary a moron...

2008-11-28T10:29:00.001-08:00

I love that she used the words 'Pretty Brutal' at the start of this interview! I mean really, does this woman have absolutely no common sense? No idea of where she's standing? Where the camera is pointed? I'm sure one could blame this on her 'handlers', but that's far too easy in my opinion. And why, can someone tell me - does she sound like a character from Fargo (MIN) when she's from Alaska. That accent is puzzling, but not nearly as puzzling as opting to be interviewed in front of Turkeys being bled. And on that note, don't you just love that guy behind her? I KNOW he's thinking something along the lines of:

'Huh Huh, gonna be on the TV. All the boys down at the tavern gonna finally see I'm the best damn turkey processing engineer! I told em, told em I'm good at whats I do!'

Little kid gets owned by dog

2008-11-22T10:36:00.001-08:00

Had the kid just dropped his gloves and fought like a man, he may not have gotten - well, humped.

Watch it all

2008-11-21T09:29:00.001-08:00

This failblog.com is some good stuff kiddos....

2008-11-14T23:05:00.002-08:00

My Angel and I were just discussing my blog. Seems she was after an alternative ending to a certain Will Smith film. We both knew I'd commented on it in the past. It got me perusing backwards through my interweb life, and realizing that I've tossed out some nonsense that I'm kinda, sorta, a wee bit happy with. I haven't posted anything lately that makes me walk with that certain swagger. I haven't posted anything of late that makes me order my morning coffee with the authority of a pseudo journalist. For this I'm somewhat ashamed, but realizing that true art can't be rushed; I assure you that I'll be back with the insightful witticisms you expect from a site headed by a monkey smoking. Or I'll post some UTube shite, and bitch about bad films...keep you posted!!!

You all had better be excited about this, and checking in thrice daily for the upcoming posts. The advertising dollars are keeping my 42 diabetic kittens on kidney dialysis, and their future is in your hands!

Garth Snow ices one hell of a club!

2008-11-14T22:45:00.001-08:00

These kids are hoping to become the Isles of the Bossy era one day! Who was the Islander of that era with the craziest helmet ever BTW?

2008-11-14T00:11:00.000-08:00

At least I've blogged since July......

Madness!!!!

2008-11-10T17:40:00.001-08:00

JFu is officially the only person I know who's on YouTube. Thankfully, my newspaper kilt has yet to see a broad circulation.

Rather Clever:

2008-10-24T00:40:00.001-07:00

2008-10-19T10:55:00.000-07:00

Nice to see the second best film franchise shall continue:

Universal 'to make fourth Bourne'

Fictional CIA assassin Jason Bourne will appear in a fourth film, according to trade newspaper Variety.

It says actor Matt Damon will reprise the lead role in the fourth instalment of the Bourne franchise, with Paul Greengrass directing once again.

It will be the first Bourne film not to be based on the novels of late US author Robert Ludlum, Variety said.

George Nolfi, who co-wrote last year's Bourne Ultimatum screenplay, will pen the story, it added.

Robert Ludlum wrote a trilogy of Bourne novels before his death in 2001.

Since his death, there have been a further three Bourne novels - all written by thriller and fantasy author Eric Van Lustbader.

Bond criticism

British director Greengrass has directed the last two film versions.

It was previously thought The Bourne Ultimatum movie, which followed 2004's The Bourne Supremacy and 2002's The Bourne Identity, would be the last of the films in the franchise.

It topped UK and US box office charts and made nearly $450m (£258m) around the world.

Last year, Damon dismissed rival franchise James Bond as being stuck in the past.

"The Bond character will always be anchored in the 1960s and in the values of the 1960s," he said.

The suave spy was "anachronistic when you put it in the world we live in today", he added but said that Bourne was no better or worse than Bond.

The latest Bond film, Quantum of Solace, is released across the UK on 31 October.

2008-09-27T07:43:00.002-07:00

Odd how the world works. Watched 'The Sting' last night and thoroughly enjoyed it. Woke up, checked the news only to find Paul Newman has finally succumbed to cancer. He was a great one - Slapshot, Cool Hand Luke, the Great Escape, Hud, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid are all favorites of mine. He was a philanthropist unlike any. He created camps for terminal children, a model which is now in use all over the world. And his salad dressing is a regular staple in my fridge. Vanity fair ran a great article on him last month; well worth the read. RIP you handsome blue eyed racing machine!

2008-09-21T10:34:00.002-07:00

Looks like God (aka Roberto Luongo) is ready to roll - see him peeking round the corner to see if the Zamboni is off the ice yet? He's excited, and so am I. Pre season games tomorrow and Tuesday! Both on TV...sweet!!! I'm also happy to publicly announce that I'm going to Montreal in Feb to cheer on my team. It will be undoubtedly be the finest hockey holiday to date. Anyone know where I can get some Nuck's colored face paint by the way???

2008-09-14T15:30:00.002-07:00

Alrighty - Here we go. As some of you may or may not know, I planted a few too many tomato plants this year. My lovely lady and I hit Art Knapps and seemingly chose a few plants far to late in the season to see much fruit. Ahh, nope. I've just finished a pot of sauce that'll now simmer til tommorrow when it'll get bagged and frozen. I'd rather put it into tupperware, saved 750 ml. yogurt containers and the like, but alas I'm out. Anyhoo - here's my recipe:

Mucho oil into a 12 quart pot.
Dice onion (amount depending on the mood) Today was two.
Heat another pan for meat. See above. Today was pork,veal, and turkey.
Get going on cooking the onion you fool, you have shit to do!
While the onion browns, get your ass in gear and finely chop some celery.
Add celery, have you looked at the amount of tomatoes in the sink?
Fucking hurry up - there is garlic to be minced.
Move the pan to less heat, you're way too slow.
Deal with chopping the five assorted peppers, catch up already!
Add first meat to pan, brown while adding peppers to pot.
That meat better not be burning! Add the garlic to the pot, follow with the meat.
Phew, crack a beer.
Fuck - those tomatoes are still in the sink!
Gulp some of that beer!
Prep part of the tomatoes while making sure that O so lean veal doesn't burn.
Add tomatoes and veal.
Going pretty well, time to worry bout the carrots and zuccini.
Fuck.
Out to the garden - grab said ingredients, and run back in.
Worry bout the heat all the way in.
Whew!
Drop heat on both pans.
Move tomatoes into one sink to allow washing and peeling of new goodies.
Peel said goodies.
Grade said goodies.
Didn't even end up with a grading wound, some old Italian lady is blessing me.
Phew - all caught up, have a sip of beer. It's gone? Fuck - open another.
Return pans to heat, continue prepping tomatoes.
Last of the meats into pan.
Fucking pan needs more oil - quickly now...
Good Lord - how can there still be so many tomatoes?
Continue prepping those goodies, and add em with the last of the meat.
Gotta deglaze that pan - that's tast stuff and this sauce needs liquid!
Hmmm - my honey likes sugar in her sauce...
Deglaze with OJ and wine.
Speaking of wine, where's my beer?
Aahhh.
Toss in the zuccini and carrot.
Stir, and enjoy the beer - Who's gonna clean this mess up?
Hmm - the pot isn't quite full, and I think there are another ten ripe ones...
Out to the garden, inside - chop like a madman and in they go.
The little cherry tomatoes look so lovely floating all on their own.
Solid among their lesser, deconstructed cousins.
Time to season I wonder? Pull the herbs out, glare at my dull knife...
Forgot the Fungus! Chop, Chop, Chop - in goes four cups of assorted beauty
Getting full now that pot is, season up at attempt a stir.
Gotta be more of a 'push down and blend' style. It'll work!

That will be 40 plus liters this year. Next batch will be lasagna. I hear you can make salsa with the green ones - or I could burn down the garden!!!

Huhh

2008-09-11T11:48:00.001-07:00

Wow, the theme is the same - but it seems the production value has gone considerably on the latest Bond film...

2008-09-10T16:57:00.004-07:00

The jackasses Pratt and (Monkey Boy) Taylor are discussing Vancouver restaurants. The premise is that Canuck's GM M. Gillis is taking the twins out for dinner. The simian and Mr. Crown Royal are yapping about what restaurant it ought be. Monkey Boy recommends the Brave Bull. Yet, he hasn't been there. Idiot. He also called Jameison's one of the best restaurants in the lower mainland. Let's not forget he wears a faux mohawk! Pratt can't recommend anything outside of Yaletown, where I'm sure he falls down and barfs on a regular basis. These two are beyond bad, yet they are my radio crack. I can't stop listening. And it's not helping my BP! LOL...can't wait to go back to the Bull though. The best was the little old lady revved up over unfinished veggies! Twas a great meal, unassuming as it were...

2008-09-07T10:17:00.002-07:00

A pesty one-two punch: Tussock moth and spruce budworm could equal devastation of forests by pine beetle

by Cam Fortems

Two natural pests threaten to slam into the Interior in the biggest outbreak of defoliators in a century, a government entomologist warned Thursday.

Lorraine Maclauchlan, an expert with the Ministry of Forests, outlined the threat and early plans for dealing with tussock moth and spruce budworm to a TNRD board meeting Thursday.

Both insects threaten to reach populations that could devastate Interior forests in the same way as mountain pine beetle.

“We’re approaching the worst defoliating event we’ve had in 100 years,” Maclauchlan said in an interview with reporters.

The province spent about $2 million last year on spray programs, using naturally occurring organisms, to control the insects in this region. Both are moths that feed on fir and spruce trees as caterpillars.

So let me get this right. We're seemingly not logging much of the bug kill in this province at the moment. Now we're faced with the seemingly inevitable destruction of two other species. And a weekly 6-49 or Super 7 winner could theoretically throw more money at this problem than our government managed last year? Un Fucking Believable.

2008-09-07T10:11:00.001-07:00

Watch when Bill flashes his card...