Monkey Number 1 Says

Just a crazy wee update in the life of Dunc. Before heading to the Island golfing with Dad, my sweet Volvo (untainted in four years I might add) suffers a hit and run at Bob's house. Made me think of Vincent Vega's chat with his dealer in Pulp Fiction. 'You know, it'd be worth it just to catch them doing it...there's nothing worse than fucking with another man's automobile.' K so enough about that, the car sits, we travel the beautiful East coast of Vancouver Island (in an untainted car I might add) enjoy the courses, accomodation, sights and people. Come home, unwind for a few days, hop in the Volvo and drive to work. On said day, hit a deer on the way to work. Said deer essentially pulls a 'Duke's of Hazzard' slide across the hood, very efficiently scratching the hell out of the hood with those oh so cute razor sharp hooves of hers. Said deer proceeds to bounce beautifully away, up and over a fence before stopping to pause and look back at my now twice tainted Volvo. People say deer are cute, delicious with potatoes and roasted veggies I say. A day and a half after this little ungulate soiree, I'm minding my own business at work when the ERT pager goes off. Hop in with the foreman and grab a ride down to the crushers where there is a 240 ton haul truck completely engulfed in flames. The tires are burning and threating to blow. Our literature tells us these tires will blow rubber, rock, firemen or whatever is in the way up to a distance of three hundred feet. Sufficient to say, we fight this carefully and have the fire put out with no injury, loss of life or further equipment damage within four hours. We feel heroic, I however am on a major adreneline rush and find sleep elusive that morning. Next night shift really, really sucks! Days off go by uneventfully, which brings us to BC day, Aug. 7th. After work I'm ripping my way down the road towards home and a cozy bed when the vehicle in front of me enters an intersection before my eyes and get's T'Boned by a van at around 80 km. Said truck is turned sideways and comes to a stop on the side of the road some 80 yards from where he was hit. I'm watching this from 40 or so yards away and watch as the vanrolls twice and comes to a stop on the drivers side in the ditch. All this wreck was missing was flames and it would have been true Hollywood gold. Pull the Benz over, grab my first aid kit and cel phone and run towards the van. The two occupants are already attempting to get out. I'm on the phone to 911 as I approach the van, finish the call and lift the woman who's alreadied scurrying her way ou down to the ditch. Her man follows, informing me through an eye watering booze breath that they're ok, and don't need 'no fucking cops or ambulance.' I remind him they've hit another vehicle, and have been in a pretty bad accident. At this point, I really don't give a shit bout said asshole, and focus my attention on his gal pal. She too, ignores my plees for her to lay down and attempt to relax and insist on hobbling around on what I think is perhaps a broken leg. (there are shards of metal sticking out of it as well) Whatever, these hillbilles are gonna do there own thing, so I set out to check on the truck's occupant who's by now wandering around the highway, picking up the odds and ends which flew from his truck box after impact. Turns out he's another ERT guy from the mine. One who got off very lucky as the van had struck the box of his truck, avoiding the cab entirely. None the less he was a bit shocked, but otherwise fine. I helped him to gather his things (as this seemed first and foremost on his to do list) and convinced him to sit down and await the police and ambulance. Went back to check on the hillbillies to find only her where I'd left them. She said her man had left to go to his uncles. An attempt to defeat the DUI I imagine. By now the woman is in complete shock, ashen and shaking. We managed a blanket from a passer by, and were forced to carry her a distace (Ouch!) as the van was now leaking it's fuel and smoking a bit. Finally, the RCMP and Logan Lake volunteer Fire Dept. show up and take over the first aid. Do the witness thingy with the cop (who appears to be twelve by the way) and then get roped into helping out with splinting the gal's leg as the Logan Lake ERT also suspect it to be broken. Thankfully, she was packaged easily and shipped off to Kamloops hospital where I later heard she was doing fine. Buddy from work was OK as well. As for booze breath, dunno, don't care. Regardless, thought I'd share that little insight into one hell of a crazy couple of weeks. Enjoying a coffee as I finish typing this up, and really hoping the roof stays intact!!!! Cheers y'all.