Hurry back Lou, Mats is coming to play! Every contending club in the league has a hulking centerman, and now we do as well. Good work; I'm officially giddy - the Sedins now have room to play, and opposing clubs Dmen are gonna be spread thin trying to line up against a club who's already 8th in league scoring. This is gonna play out beautifully, mark my words.

Happy Holidays:



As if I didn't need another yet another reason NEVER to go to Wal Mart"

A Wal-Mart worker has died after being trampled by a throng of shoppers shortly after a store opened Friday on Long Island in New York State, police said.

Frenzied shoppers desperate for bargains broke down the doors at a 5 a.m. sale. Other workers were trampled as they tried to rescue the man, and customers shouted angrily and kept shopping when store officials said they were closing because of the death, police and witnesses said.

At least four other people, including a woman who was eight months pregnant, were taken to hospitals for observation or minor injuries, and the store in Valley Stream on Long Island closed for several hours before reopening.

Shoppers stepped over the man on the ground and streamed into the store. When told to leave, some complained that they had been in line since Thursday morning.

Cleary a moron...

I love that she used the words 'Pretty Brutal' at the start of this interview! I mean really, does this woman have absolutely no common sense? No idea of where she's standing? Where the camera is pointed? I'm sure one could blame this on her 'handlers', but that's far too easy in my opinion. And why, can someone tell me - does she sound like a character from Fargo (MIN) when she's from Alaska. That accent is puzzling, but not nearly as puzzling as opting to be interviewed in front of Turkeys being bled. And on that note, don't you just love that guy behind her? I KNOW he's thinking something along the lines of:

'Huh Huh, gonna be on the TV. All the boys down at the tavern gonna finally see I'm the best damn turkey processing engineer! I told em, told em I'm good at whats I do!'

Little kid gets owned by dog

Had the kid just dropped his gloves and fought like a man, he may not have gotten - well, humped.

Watch it all

This failblog.com is some good stuff kiddos....

My Angel and I were just discussing my blog. Seems she was after an alternative ending to a certain Will Smith film. We both knew I'd commented on it in the past. It got me perusing backwards through my interweb life, and realizing that I've tossed out some nonsense that I'm kinda, sorta, a wee bit happy with. I haven't posted anything lately that makes me walk with that certain swagger. I haven't posted anything of late that makes me order my morning coffee with the authority of a pseudo journalist. For this I'm somewhat ashamed, but realizing that true art can't be rushed; I assure you that I'll be back with the insightful witticisms you expect from a site headed by a monkey smoking. Or I'll post some UTube shite, and bitch about bad films...keep you posted!!!

You all had better be excited about this, and checking in thrice daily for the upcoming posts. The advertising dollars are keeping my 42 diabetic kittens on kidney dialysis, and their future is in your hands!

Garth Snow ices one hell of a club!

These kids are hoping to become the Isles of the Bossy era one day! Who was the Islander of that era with the craziest helmet ever BTW?

At least I've blogged since July......

Madness!!!!

JFu is officially the only person I know who's on YouTube. Thankfully, my newspaper kilt has yet to see a broad circulation.

Rather Clever:

Nice to see the second best film franchise shall continue:



Universal 'to make fourth Bourne'

Fictional CIA assassin Jason Bourne will appear in a fourth film, according to trade newspaper Variety.

It says actor Matt Damon will reprise the lead role in the fourth instalment of the Bourne franchise, with Paul Greengrass directing once again.

It will be the first Bourne film not to be based on the novels of late US author Robert Ludlum, Variety said.

George Nolfi, who co-wrote last year's Bourne Ultimatum screenplay, will pen the story, it added.

Robert Ludlum wrote a trilogy of Bourne novels before his death in 2001.

Since his death, there have been a further three Bourne novels - all written by thriller and fantasy author Eric Van Lustbader.

Bond criticism

British director Greengrass has directed the last two film versions.

It was previously thought The Bourne Ultimatum movie, which followed 2004's The Bourne Supremacy and 2002's The Bourne Identity, would be the last of the films in the franchise.

It topped UK and US box office charts and made nearly $450m (£258m) around the world.

Last year, Damon dismissed rival franchise James Bond as being stuck in the past.

"The Bond character will always be anchored in the 1960s and in the values of the 1960s," he said.

The suave spy was "anachronistic when you put it in the world we live in today", he added but said that Bourne was no better or worse than Bond.

The latest Bond film, Quantum of Solace, is released across the UK on 31 October.

Odd how the world works. Watched 'The Sting' last night and thoroughly enjoyed it. Woke up, checked the news only to find Paul Newman has finally succumbed to cancer. He was a great one - Slapshot, Cool Hand Luke, the Great Escape, Hud, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid are all favorites of mine. He was a philanthropist unlike any. He created camps for terminal children, a model which is now in use all over the world. And his salad dressing is a regular staple in my fridge. Vanity fair ran a great article on him last month; well worth the read. RIP you handsome blue eyed racing machine!

Looks like God (aka Roberto Luongo) is ready to roll - see him peeking round the corner to see if the Zamboni is off the ice yet? He's excited, and so am I. Pre season games tomorrow and Tuesday! Both on TV...sweet!!! I'm also happy to publicly announce that I'm going to Montreal in Feb to cheer on my team. It will be undoubtedly be the finest hockey holiday to date. Anyone know where I can get some Nuck's colored face paint by the way???

Alrighty - Here we go. As some of you may or may not know, I planted a few too many tomato plants this year. My lovely lady and I hit Art Knapps and seemingly chose a few plants far to late in the season to see much fruit. Ahh, nope. I've just finished a pot of sauce that'll now simmer til tommorrow when it'll get bagged and frozen. I'd rather put it into tupperware, saved 750 ml. yogurt containers and the like, but alas I'm out. Anyhoo - here's my recipe:

Mucho oil into a 12 quart pot.
Dice onion (amount depending on the mood) Today was two.
Heat another pan for meat. See above. Today was pork,veal, and turkey.
Get going on cooking the onion you fool, you have shit to do!
While the onion browns, get your ass in gear and finely chop some celery.
Add celery, have you looked at the amount of tomatoes in the sink?
Fucking hurry up - there is garlic to be minced.
Move the pan to less heat, you're way too slow.
Deal with chopping the five assorted peppers, catch up already!
Add first meat to pan, brown while adding peppers to pot.
That meat better not be burning! Add the garlic to the pot, follow with the meat.
Phew, crack a beer.
Fuck - those tomatoes are still in the sink!
Gulp some of that beer!
Prep part of the tomatoes while making sure that O so lean veal doesn't burn.
Add tomatoes and veal.
Going pretty well, time to worry bout the carrots and zuccini.
Fuck.
Out to the garden - grab said ingredients, and run back in.
Worry bout the heat all the way in.
Whew!
Drop heat on both pans.
Move tomatoes into one sink to allow washing and peeling of new goodies.
Peel said goodies.
Grade said goodies.
Didn't even end up with a grading wound, some old Italian lady is blessing me.
Phew - all caught up, have a sip of beer. It's gone? Fuck - open another.
Return pans to heat, continue prepping tomatoes.
Last of the meats into pan.
Fucking pan needs more oil - quickly now...
Good Lord - how can there still be so many tomatoes?
Continue prepping those goodies, and add em with the last of the meat.
Gotta deglaze that pan - that's tast stuff and this sauce needs liquid!
Hmmm - my honey likes sugar in her sauce...
Deglaze with OJ and wine.
Speaking of wine, where's my beer?
Aahhh.
Toss in the zuccini and carrot.
Stir, and enjoy the beer - Who's gonna clean this mess up?
Hmm - the pot isn't quite full, and I think there are another ten ripe ones...
Out to the garden, inside - chop like a madman and in they go.
The little cherry tomatoes look so lovely floating all on their own.
Solid among their lesser, deconstructed cousins.
Time to season I wonder? Pull the herbs out, glare at my dull knife...
Forgot the Fungus! Chop, Chop, Chop - in goes four cups of assorted beauty
Getting full now that pot is, season up at attempt a stir.
Gotta be more of a 'push down and blend' style. It'll work!


That will be 40 plus liters this year. Next batch will be lasagna. I hear you can make salsa with the green ones - or I could burn down the garden!!!

Huhh

Wow, the theme is the same - but it seems the production value has gone considerably on the latest Bond film...

The jackasses Pratt and (Monkey Boy) Taylor are discussing Vancouver restaurants. The premise is that Canuck's GM M. Gillis is taking the twins out for dinner. The simian and Mr. Crown Royal are yapping about what restaurant it ought be. Monkey Boy recommends the Brave Bull. Yet, he hasn't been there. Idiot. He also called Jameison's one of the best restaurants in the lower mainland. Let's not forget he wears a faux mohawk! Pratt can't recommend anything outside of Yaletown, where I'm sure he falls down and barfs on a regular basis. These two are beyond bad, yet they are my radio crack. I can't stop listening. And it's not helping my BP! LOL...can't wait to go back to the Bull though. The best was the little old lady revved up over unfinished veggies! Twas a great meal, unassuming as it were...

A pesty one-two punch: Tussock moth and spruce budworm could equal devastation of forests by pine beetle

by Cam Fortems

Two natural pests threaten to slam into the Interior in the biggest outbreak of defoliators in a century, a government entomologist warned Thursday.

Lorraine Maclauchlan, an expert with the Ministry of Forests, outlined the threat and early plans for dealing with tussock moth and spruce budworm to a TNRD board meeting Thursday.

Both insects threaten to reach populations that could devastate Interior forests in the same way as mountain pine beetle.

“We’re approaching the worst defoliating event we’ve had in 100 years,” Maclauchlan said in an interview with reporters.

The province spent about $2 million last year on spray programs, using naturally occurring organisms, to control the insects in this region. Both are moths that feed on fir and spruce trees as caterpillars.

So let me get this right. We're seemingly not logging much of the bug kill in this province at the moment. Now we're faced with the seemingly inevitable destruction of two other species. And a weekly 6-49 or Super 7 winner could theoretically throw more money at this problem than our government managed last year? Un Fucking Believable.

Watch when Bill flashes his card...

Balls found inside 'rattling' dog

A dog had to have 13 golf balls removed from its stomach after eating them on walks around a Fife course.

Owner Chris Morrison had been taking five-year-old black labrador Oscar round the Pitreavie golf course in Dunfermline for several months.

He took Oscar to the vet after noticing a rattling sound coming from his pet's stomach.

They then discovered that 13 balls - each weighing 45 grams - were lodged in his stomach.

Mr Morrison, a planning administrator, said one of the balls had been in his stomach so long that it had turned black and was decomposing.

He said: "He finds golf balls like truffles. We're not sure how long exactly this happened over, but it must have been a fair period - several months at least.

"I felt his stomach and heard them rattling around.

"He normally brings a few home, but I had no idea he had eaten so many.

He is a black lab so he is a fair size, but to swallow 13 is quite amazing
Chris Morrison

"The vet hadn't seen anything like it, it was bizarre.

"He is a black lab so he is a fair size, but to swallow 13 is quite amazing."

The balls were removed two weeks ago in a successful hour-long operation.

Bag full

Oscar is now on the road to making a full recovery on a special post-operation diet of watered-down food.

He also has to wear a muzzle while out and about.

Mr Morrison added: "He does get a bit frustrated now and again."

Bob Hesketh, 40, principal vet at Vetrica in Rosyth, said he had never seen anything like it.

He said: "It was like a magic trick. I opened him up and felt what I thought was two or three golf balls.

"But they just kept coming until we had a bag full.

"I think they must have been in there for several months, one was all black and the shell was swollen."

Forgot how classic this is...