OOPS - GOT THE WRONG DIRECTOR!

LET THE HAZING BEGIN: here's a review that names the TRUE director, not the producer as I'd mentioned earlier. I'm rather red faced at the moment...

Laura (Belen Rueda) returns to the orphanage she spent time in as a child with her husband Carlos (Fernando Cayo) and little boy Simon (Roger Princep) in hopes of re-establishing it as seaside retreat for children with disabilities only to find there may be some former residents who never left. In Juan Antonio Bayona’s tightly wound “The Orphanage” nothing is as it seems and child’s play takes on sinister overtones.

Bayona belongs to this new wave of Spanish-language directors (most notably Del Torro and Amenabar) who excel when it comes to creating moody atmospheric tales of the supernatural with Catholic overtones. Whereas “Pan’s Labyrinth” took a dark fantasy approach to a Passion Play, “The Orphanage” is closer to the classic haunted house themes of “The Others” as it attempts to give a sentimental view of life after death. Be warned, “The Orphanage” is often more sad than scary, and those not familiar with Catholic mysticism might find things a bit hard to believe. As goes the film’s mantra…Believe, Then You Will See. Those with the patience and the heart will be greatly rewarded as the audience doesn’t necessarily have to Believe to relate to the characters who do.

Working from refined “less is more” psychological horror templates, Bayona delivers the formulaic goods. There will be a simplistic but heartfelt exploration of grief. There will be allusions to classic literature (in this case a very nicely done “Peter Pan” as Catholic allegory motif). There will be uncovering dark secrets from the past. There will be precocious children with spooky imaginary friends. There will be creaking set designs and manipulative sound effects to create “gotcha!” moments. There will be a creepy medium (an excellent Geraldine Chaplin) brought in for a séance. And there will be a twist at the end.

I'm too ashamed to type - Gave another man credit he wasn't due. None the less - a wonderful film. Go ahead and make fun you distant crowd. I know you will. Only keeps you minutes away from the video store, and further from a good film! No matter who produced it.

It took a while to shame Ron back into blogging - what's it gonna take for this lad? I'm assuming he's still aching and downing milk thistle after TBot's visit. But come on - find a new identity and get back on the horse. Miss and love you by the way. HarHarHar...

Wow - rather brilliant stuff this. Del Toro is some kinda spooky good at making films that captivate and leave you admiring their beauty, yet scare the shit out of you seconds later. Pan's Labyrinth was one of the coolest films I've ever seen and The Orphanage is another solid, solid film. Can't wait to see his take on the Hobbit. Rent this one folks, in lieu of thanks - send cash for Spanish lessons so I can bypass the subtitles...

Oh - and a Sundin update. I'm sure you're all awaiting my wise words. He'll sign somewhere. Sometime. Or he won't. But he might. Or he might host Swedish FearFactor. Or race for Volvo. I just dunno....

Our blogs ain't exactly Ticketmaster - anyone else tired of this shit?

A word or two of advice:

If you're heading to the video store this weekend, feel free to rent this:



DO NOT rent this:


Someone, somewhere must have pictures of both Tim Roth and Naomi Watts doing some incredibly naughty things to have roped them into such a pile of shit film as this. No redeeming qualities here whatsoever. And Brad Pitt's younger brother should just forget about this whole acting gig and instead act as Brad and Angelina's adoption liaison or something. A true pile of shit.

What a wonderful morning of golf. 53 year old Greg Norman led coming in to this Sunday, but faltered and was overtaken by Padraig Harrington who played beautifully. His approach shots on 17 and 18 were stunning. Brave, gutsy and surely the shots a champion has in the bag. Fuck, do I wanna golf.

After Padraig secured the jug, I strolled out into the back yard and witnessed a bit more beauty. It's a lovely, sunny day here and the yard is awash in tittering butterflies. I love their fragile beauty, and they often leave me spellbound. The yard of late has been home to an owl, some bats, and a wandering cat who likes to beat on Hiram. Hiram at the moment is keeping a low profile, scared senseless from the beating he apparently took last night.

Back to the yard though. On my post Open Championship stroll, I noticed a twitter that was no butterfly. It was, in fact, two pairs of Rufus Hummingbirds working some of the many flowers that frame the yard. I inched forward on my crutches, bit by bit. I was quiet and slow and got to within five feet of where they were feeding. They spooked, and took of momentarily to roost and check me out. They soon returned to the same plant and had their fill. I was so close I could see the whites of their eyes. I had no idea hummingbirds even had whites around their corneas. It was an amazing moment until Bailey spotted her 'Rope,' and feeling ingnored - just had to attack it. Stupid dog. Ruined a perfectly surreal moment; one of those moments when you feel a part of something larger, a kinship with the world in which we make this journey.

All in all, a great moment, a great morning, and another great Open championship.

Maybe once Mats has finished golfing, this soap opera will end:



TSN: A Swedish newspaper nearly started an international incident on Sunday as they reported that Mats Sundin has agreed to play for the Vancouver Canucks, a claim that Sundin's Swedish representative denies.

Sundin's Swedish based representative Claes Elefalk claims the story in the Daily News is completely false, claiming that reporter Dusan Umicevic contacted him seeking a quote. Despite Elefalk telling the reporter that his information was incorrect, Umicevic published the story anyway.

While the Canucks remain one of the team's that Sundin is considering, he has yet to make a decision as to whether or not he will play next season.

This is getting nuts - my Wed. prediction was off, but I get the feeling he's going to sign tomorrow.

Not sure what to post here. I haven't heard from many of my peeps who have already seen the film - but I have. I don't want to ruin anything for anyone here. I'll just let you know that everything you've heard/read is true. This is THE film to take the superhero genre to another level. Fucking incredible - and I'm not one to rant about this type of movie. I usually find it over the top, and lacking both the imagination of character development and a way of simply 'getting it shot' without pushing any envelopes. Once we were past the six trailers (Bond kicks them all to shit BTW)we took off on a roller coast ride of pure cinema. Simply put - Bravo. This is one fine film, and I can't wait to watch it again (this week?) with JFu. Sorry Lad, couldn't wait! I'm so biting my tongue as there is so much I want to mention here - but I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did...

The most appropriate way to review a film like this is as follows:

Thank God I didn't become an actor, cuz if I had, I may have been really hungry and forced to do a pile of shit picture like this one. And I'd be really upset with myself. And it would be there, on DVD, for ever and ever. And people would watch it, and sneer at you - laugh most likely.

Wow, was this BAD. I was really looking forward to it too. It has Vancouver, Leelee, and kinky latex clothes and shit. I mean, how could you not look forward to that right?

Brutal, not worth the cost of rental - not even worth your time if someone GIVES it to you. In fact, if someone does - you should question that friendship. Ughh - I want my two hours back.

The higher wound (or racing stripes as I like to call em) are the result of the skin graft. Whose results you see in the shark/bear like scarring you see low on my ankle. The 'meat' on the left is the section they 'flapped.' Which means cut and moved. The secion on the right is the still growing graft. I never want to be a burn victim - grafts blow. Not in a really great mood right now, but hoped posting this might get Ron into a scar/blogger fight or something! I can overlook the superficial, but worry about the depths of this injury. Maybe being free of the cast has made me tentative; but I'll admit it's wonderful to scratch.

Just found this comment about Pratt and Taylor while perusing the interweb:

I got out of radio and TV many moons ago because of the ridiculous egos.
Radio people thought they belonged on TV and TV people felt they were moments
away from the national desks or movies.
Professional shills who would sell their souls for exposure or freebies.
Eventually, they all end up opening car dealerships or shopping centers with
a PA system and a van well into their 60s, hoping the wind doesn't blow off
their wigs while they try to flirt with the women. Then it's home to the
trailer and the daily gaze at the .38 sitting in the desk drawer while
unscrewing the scotch bottle.
Everything you need to know about media people can be found on the Simpsons.

Oh man - that's some good stuff.

Park wardens have closed the day-use area between Banff and Yoho National Parks after a female jogger was bitten by a bear on Wednesday evening.

The Belgian woman, who is working in Lake Louise for the summer, was running on the old Highway 1A near the Great Divide day-use area on the Alberta-B.C. border when she encountered a black bear, Parks Canada said Thursday.

The 23-year-old woman tried to back away and make a lot of noise, but the bear followed her for about 100 metres. She then lay down and tried to play dead. The animal proceeded to circle and lick her, eventually biting her at least six times on her legs and back.

I'm no expert - but I think you only 'play dead' once teh bear has KNOCKED you down. Don't think laying down right off the bat is your best bet.

I'm sick of this story.

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2008/07/15/bc-robin-long-deportation-expected.html

Look at him! He was living in Nelson. He wasn't dodging the army, he was cooked and forgot what was going on. Fuck them, they join the ARMY and refuse to deploy - fuck em. I don't want to pay their way. I happen to have a great story about a war dodger who now works at the mine. He's forgotten the truth about where he's actually from, and the Daily News here in the Loops regularly prints his trash. But that's another story. He was of a generation when they were drafted and forced into a ridiculous war. This generation signed up, and now, scared shitless of yet another ridiculous war. Then they seek asylum in my country. While this nation's soldiers die. Fuck these losers, boot their sorry asses back to a military jail.

Always trouble out in that shithole:

Two people were in police custody Friday night following a boat chase that began in Port Moody, B.C., the Canadian Coast Guard said.

The incident began at Reed Point Marina around 8 p.m. The operator of a 12-metre, black-and-white speedboat took off when bailiffs attempted to repossess the boat, the Coast Guard said.

The speedboat, with two people on board, struck at least two anchored boats when it sped from the marina.

Port Moody police called for help from the Canadian Coast Guard and the Vancouver police, the Coast Guard said.

A Vancouver police boat, the Coast Guard cutter Osprey and the RCMP's chopper, Air 1, were all deployed to assist in the chase.

The chopper spotted the speedboat and authorities managed to stop it.

IZ - Over the Rainbow / What a Wonderful World

I like to add this once and a while, because - well - it's beautiful.

Erin, tis for you. This song reminds me of calm, lapping waves. It always puts in me in a finely calm mood. Love you dear.

El Nino - Sergio Garcia (Spain)


'Man Tits Mickelson' Somewhere gay.



Lee Westwood - South of Hardian's wall


Justin Rose (one of the best swings in the game) - also a sassonack.


Padraigh Harrington (Paddy) My fav. Irishman

My British Open Pool players for Geo's Pub's pool. Think I'm finally in the money.
Oh yeah - DRo is in the money!

Prediction - Mats signs before Wed.

Rob Davison scores from nearly 200ft on Vesa Toskala

This is our new DMan - I like him - that's great, 200 ft. Wow.

The Latest Canuck

Apparently Pavel Demitra has a sense of humour - or really needed some advertising bucks. Not sure, but I like this addition to the lineup for two years. The Canucks also picked up a big hard nose DMan which will add some depth to the blueline. John Shorthouse just reported on the Team 1040 that he has two sources stating that Mats Sundin will be accepting Vancouver's offer within the week. Shall be interesting...

Would hockey just start already.....

British Open next week - Oh yeah, Tiger's not playing, and he tourney is in England.

Think I'm gonna have to start reading again...shit!

GORBACHOV

Russian Zombies, and heavy guitar, buxom peasants. A singer who sounds oddly like Falco. Warriors with bloody battle axes and a machine gun, green zombie blood, western products raining from the sky. This is officially the greatest bad video ever.

Chelios, Kid Rock and Wayne rocking it out in Malibu? Odd pic to say the least - though I'll add that the 74 year old Chelios looks ready for another season. Replace him with Geo in his BD pis, and I'd be hard pressed to see the difference.

Yesterday I stopped at Irwin's for a snack and a newspaper. A fella was pushing his cart along the street towards me, and he paused to rummage through a garbage can for empties. I said hello, opened up my trunk and brought out the empties from my trunk I was planning on returning. Gave them to him instead, and he seemed very grateful. This morning, my lovely lady and I tidied up, took out the garbage, and loaded everything up from my stay at Ian and Shelley's place. Some of said items were the empties from the past couple of days. Trust me kids, you'd like to drink beer on Ian's patio as well. It's a beer drinker's Utopia. Anyhoo, I stopped again at Irwin's this morning for today's newspaper. Like clockwork, here's buddy with his shopping cart again, rolling it up the street. I once again open up my trunk, and give him what I have. We get to chatting. This fella is obviously an East coaster whose entire worldly possessions are pushed around in an old Safeway cart. I look it over behind the privacy of my shades, and notice just how tidy and organized it is. Everything has a place, from the tarps to the neatly packaged tent. He has a few Rubbermaid containers that keep everything tidy and dry. Like you would want if you're camping. It occurs to me that this man camps and ekes out a living daily. He had the clearest, bluest eyes, was tidy and neat by homeless standards, and carried on a lovely conversation with me for four or five minutes. He seemed sharp and bright, and was very likable. I've been thinking about him all morning, and wonder just how many things must go wrong to put a man like him into that situation. I gave him the few small bills I had in my wallet, to which he seemed very grateful. I don't care if he gets drunk or high with my money, I really don't. I don't know why, but this encounter is playing on my mind this afternoon - I wonder how he sheltered from the storm the other day, I wonder where the kids he played with a child are now, and I wonder if we're all only a few mistakes/situations away from such a fate. I only hope that if I were there, I'd be as pleasant and seemingly happy a man as he.

Alrighty kids, it's rant time!

I'm housesitting for my Bro at the moment. I haven't been enjoying it much - watering a yard on crutches sucks. Especially when someone else is being paid to do it, but seem to only do it sporadically. K, so I arrive at said house this morning (after the glory that is AC and my own bed) to return my sibling's dog and survey the property for damage after last nights storm. I've brought fresh groceries and flowers to welcome them home. All is well, apart from the fact the housekeeper (also waterer) isn't doing any of the the things that my Bro's wife left listed for her. I sigh, think about how I wouldn't want to return to this dusty, animal hair covered mess and set about cleaning it as good as I can on a set of crutches. I get to the kitchen, and notice an odour. I've noticed it over the past few days, and have completely rinsed, bleached, sanitized, and sprinkled holy water on the garbage can. Alas, I sigh again and go at it. I take it outside, connect with contacts in Iran and nuke it. It still stinks when I take it home to the kitchen. Now I'm sighing so heavily it moves curtains. Down on my knees, I investigate further. Ah - there it is, seems my brother forgot to mention the mouse traps. Little bugger apparently got into a corner while in the throws of death - judging by the blood, he moved a ways! Should mention that it's been 40ish here the past few days, and one can assume (trust me!) that dead mice and blood tend to reek in such heat. I've left an altogether snotty message with my Bro for not informing me of these potential reek traps which has to date gone unanswered. Not impressed, but I need to go - the clothes peg on my nose is getting tight.

Quantum of Solace Trailer

I'm giggling like a little schoolgirl!