This could possibly be the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. God, does it make me laugh...

Truly Mr. NHL: Isn't it time Simon was banished from this league? I blogged last season that this 'player' has no place in the world of professional hockey. Isn't this enough? I mean come on - stomping on a guy's skate? After slough footing him to the ice? Fuck - be gone big fella; you're a disgrace.

Injuries Galore:





The Canucks are officially down by three. Luo is obviously the most worrying - but it's sad to see Morrison's iron man streak end. Could be a very scary week ahead with so many games in so few days. In other news:

No Country for Old Men

Still reeling about this film. It moved me in so many ways. I was stunned, horrified and awed throughout most of it. The ending however was rather brave. The comments I heard after the final words were spoken did not bode well for the Coen brothers, but this is Kamloops after all. I noticed much fidgeting in the theater and an unusual amount of people getting up for refills etc. That all said, highly recommend it and am looking forward to watching it again to catch the odds and ends I surely missed last night. Great filmaking, but I suspect it won't do well come award time.

It's snowing - and I'd rather be golfing! Thanks for the pic (and the hospitality Doc!)

Hmm - coming to Vancouver tomorrow - hope the highway is Ok, sems winter can't make it's mind up in this this province. Should be a good time catching up with the peeps, and looking into the whole Cloverdale situation. I other news:

The Canucks rule

I'm going to NY in May

Xmas dinner is up to 14 (gulp)

I'm bored as hell - thus this post.

Another RIP notice:

Cookbook author and television chef James Barber, who appeared on CBC-TV for 10 years as The Urban Peasant, has died.

"As far as we can tell, James was sitting at the dining room table, he was reading a cookbook, and he had a pot of soup simmering on the stove. So he definitely left this world in a way that he would have wanted to, but I think he would have been pretty upset about the timing,"

Geo - I know you won't care less, but this man took the spook out of the kitchen for me at an important time in my life. His approach of using what you had, and being willing to experiment was valuable beyond belief. Sound familiar Doc?

Movies NOT to see:

The Contract. We didn't even finish it. It was that bad. The scene where a car plummets down a hill while the occupants struggle with a gun (before, of course - crashing into a river) was laugh out loud funny.

Breaking and Entering. Had it's moments, though my favorite line came from Jaime and I. She said 'I think this is going to be good.' I said, 'We haven't heard the dialog yet.' Turns out I thought the script blew. Jude Law's line 'I love your laugh, I want to capture them and keep them in a box.' made us both giggle like kids - and 'laugh box' is going to get some serious chuckles in the future.

Go see the longly titled The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Can't say enough about this film. It was no Unforgivenbut unreal none the less. Casey Affleck will be nominated for an Oscar guaranteed.

Evel Knievel at Caesar's Palace

Just watch the shattering of bones on impact. He really does look like one of those crash test dummies, bending in all those god awful ways. RIP you crazy bugger.

The savior:



While Luongo’s ‘official’ shutout streak stands at 193:59, it’s actually been 195:34 since a puck has entered the Canuck net with Luongo in goal (the discrepancy comes from the time he’s spent on the bench for an extra attacker late in the St. Louis game and during delayed penalties in subsequent games).

A ghoul pool variation:

The jury is expected to be free tonight to begin deliberations on the fate of Robert William Pickton. I want to know how long they'll be out - and what the verdict returned will be. I'm going with next Tues. Guilty. Thoughts???

2007 Geminis Puppets Skit

"Rusty and Jerome, the two puppets from beloved CBC children's TV show The Friendly Giant, have been returned to the family of late star Bob Homme after a ruckus over their appearance in a satirical skit last month."

Dear god - get a sense of humor people.

Apparently the objected to the line 'All they do is drink and smoke and have sex.'

"Any media use of the puppets must be approved by the family, Homme said, adding that he felt the skit was "misrepresenting the puppets. They seemed like aliens to me with their different voices. It occurred to me that this is not anything we would have approved of, as far as the script goes."

Only in Canada eh?

Roberto Luongo (aka God, Him, His Holiness) can capture a new Canuck record tonight. He could pass Ken (Spider) Lockett - the backup goalie to Gary Smith in that rare divisional championship season in '74-'75 who posted two consecutive shutouts and a string of 184:20 to seemingly cement his spot in the gallery of Canucks heroes.

I suspect that he'll get it done. In other goaltender news, he won't have to face the fantastic Pascal Leclaire tonight as he's still down with an injury. But catch this quote re. the BlueJacket's latest practice:

OLD-TIME HOCKEY: With Leclaire unable to practise and Popperle not yet in Vancouver, it was up to Blue Jackets goalie coach Clint Malarchuk to put on Leclaire's pads and serve as the second goalie in practice. "First time in 12 years I've put the gear on," said the 45-year-old Malarchuk, who was looking a little flushed as he walked into the dressing room. "I feel great now, but talk to me tomorrow. "I've actually played in two alumni games where I went in for a period. But I mean that's just a bunch of old farts getting together. This is work." Leclaire had a concern, but it wasn't about Malarchuk's well-being.

"You didn't piss in my gear, did you?" Leclaire asked.

Canucks by 2.

Classic

This scene is so very Mr. Bean...

Luongo's shutout streak now sits at 182 min 37 sec. I predict he'll go another 25 min.

In other mid week ramblings:

1. Bookland rules. Over the years, I suspect I've bought 70% of my new books there. Went in this morning to pick up the Clapton autobiography and found that they are selling books and mags at the Yankee price. God bless them and the lovely old Irish lady who always makes smile. Think I might have a crush on her - she's about 70 I think!

2. Kamloops radio blows. There was a wreck on the bridge this morning. I was listening to the 'Mighty NL.' Traffic was backed up like I've never seen. Had to go downtown via the highway after some Bond like maneuvers and was subsequently late for my appointment. NL didn't mention it, but the 'Morning Mayor' had me contemplating homicide yet again as he rambled on about nothing, while ignoring the worst traffic jam I've ever seen in Kamloops.

3. Kamloops theater's blow. 'No Country for Old Men' still ain't here. Enough said.

4. Promogran rules. This wonderful product is the final step of my 'hell-hole' treatment. Looks like I'll be completely covered by Fri. or this weekend. Shameless product placement: Promogran consists of a sterile, freeze dried matrix composed of collagen and oxidised regenerated cellulose (ORC), formed into a sheet approximately 3 mm thick cut into hexagonal pieces.

5. The Mood. Sounds as though Port Moody is gonna get rocked next Fri. My lady and I are hoping to crash the Doc's joint and Mr. Brown sounds like he's gonna get some serious jig on in the burbs.

http://communities.canada.com/theprovince/blogs/kurtenblog/archive/2007/11/27/the-kb-talks-2010-olympic-mascots-vancouver-s-furry-friends.aspx

Courtesy of JFu

I suspect that this will garner some debate:



Vancouver's Olympic organizing committee has announced three creatures to represent the 2010 Games as the official mascots.


VANOC describes "Sumi" as "an animal spirit who lives in the mountains of British Columbia."

"He wears the hat of the orca whale, flies with the wings of the mighty thunderbird and runs on the strong furry legs of the black bear," according to the VANOC press release.

"Quatchi" is a "young sasquatch who comes from the mysterious forests of Canada."

"Miga" is described as "a young sea bear who lives in the ocean with her family pod, beyond Vancouver Island, near Tofino, British Columbia.

What the fuck is a 'young sea bear?' I think he's an attempt lure Japanese tourists here - doesn't he look an awful lot like all those Asian characters that were so popular on handbags and the like a while back? And why is he winking? Man oh man - the ink on 'Quatchi's' arm is very West Coast chic though! Welcome Sumi, Quatchi and Miga - you freaky conceptual artist's nightmare. Looks as though they saved some dollars however - really, what could the grade 4 class who came up with this crap have charged?


Hello Kitty, Goodbye dignity

This is some Messed up Shit:



AN INDONESIAN known as "Tree Man" - because of incredibly long warts on his hands and feet that resemble tree roots - is still baffling many experts about the cause of his condition.

After cutting his knee as a teenager, 35-year-old Dede now has “warty roots” coming out of his arms and legs in what was believed to be a life-threatening condition.



Makes you realize just how lucky we are to have our health eh?

Go see it - Denzel is amazing as usual. Pacing was good - didn't feel like it was 2.5 hrs. long! Very horrific and brutal at times. The insight into the destruction heroin wreaks in peoples lives was spooky. If ya don't like needles - prepare to cringe, this film holds little back. Geo - you'll like it, guaranteed! My Goddess and I are going to see The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford this week hopefully - another long one that I'm looking forward to. On another note - it's one that never made it to the big theater up the hill, gotta watch it in the (how the fuck is this place still open!?) Paramount. Kamloops - Ughh...you almost need a nerve block to ease the pain of watching a film in those horrific seats! How spoiled we become, huh?

Having posted re. the film - it's now time to mention the book. I enjoyed it very much and recommend it. He compares McCandles ill fated walk into the bush to others who took similar risks, and fared equally poorly. His insights into the young man's family life and upbringing are insightful and lend understanding to what possibly led him to take such risks. A section in the middle of the book describing the author's attempt at a seeming unattainable peak (also in Alaska) as a young man drew interesting comparisons to how two completely different people can risk all for entirely unalike reasons. A lovely and harrowing read.

Crazy

Ok Geo - how does this work?

Snazzy Nazzy. There is a reason his jersey hangs framed and signed above my mantle. God I love that fella.

Boogaard Going Through Glass

Hopefully the Cro-Magnon man that is Derek Boogard misses his hits again tonight. I suspect this game will not be as exciting as the press is reporting. That said, I hope it's a gong show. Sanford gets the start and I find myself predicting the Canucks by two. They will be beat (arriving in Minny @ 4am), that said - it could go crazy in the first; setting a nasty note for the rest of the game. Looking forward to it, although I wish the twits @ PPV ahd the god damned games (and I hope he does Damn them) were in HD. Hockey without HD is kinda like Ron without sarcasm. Sad. Love ya Mr Brown! Stop reading this and get writing you bus driving maniac!

I haven't seen this get a lot of press yet, but after his goal and assist performance last night, Markus Naslund has quietly - does he do it any other way? - moved to within nine points of Trevor Linden's franchise scoring record.

Sometime in the near future, I'm sure we'll start debating about who the better Canucks captain was. Last season, Naslund passed Linden as the Canucks' goal scoring leader. Earlier this season, Linden passed Stan Smyl as the Canucks' assist leader; Naslund is now also within 24 assists of Trevor's mark. Both have so far served as Canucks captain for seven seasons each.

It's really amazing how a lot of their career numbers are similar; however, there is one glaring difference. Trevor has appeared in 124 playoff games (all but six with Vancouver) and has 99 postseason points (all but four assists in a Canucks uniform). Markus has only played in 45 postseason games and has 33 points in them (all with Vancouver). In his time as captain, Trevor led the Canucks to six playoff series wins. Markus has so far led the Canucks to only two, though a long playoff run this season can bump that number up pretty quick.

And in what could be the final year for two of the best players to ever lace up for this team, a long playoff run is kinda what we're all hoping for.

Leg update: The hole is filling in nicely - another week or so; and hopefully these updates won't include flesh! This probably doesn't look much different to the masses - but the lower half (ie: where I used to see bone) is completely filled in, and it;s growing up nicely. And you all though my skinny leg couldn't get skinnier - HA!

Dad's BD Party @ Y&K Sushi - Scots eating sushi - madness!

Canuck Place - Roberto Luongo

Very cute.

Gotta love Louie:



Some recent stats:

* 5-0-1 record in six games
* 11 points out of a possible 12
* 9 goals allowed in six games
* +7 in even-strength goals
* Louie's 1.47 GAA and .946 save percentage

Seems this club faces adversity well eh? Ohlund's suspension certainly won't help things - I've never seen him lose it like that. Such an emotional, violent game this hockey. That said, it appears the defence are able to weather the storm, and it's nice to see young Edler and Bourdon really take advantage of this opportunity they've been given. All this said, I look forward to the back to backs on Tues/Wed; and will be firmly rooted on my couch for the Wed. night Min. game. That's going to be nuts. Hope we make it out unscathed. It'll be an interesting one for sure.

Seems I can't sleep just yet - so a wee blog update for the faithful:

Jaime and I went to see Sean Penn's new film 'Into the Wild' tonight. While my lady wasn't sold on it, I was blown away.

George, some advice - you will hate this film.

To the few who may still be reading, here goes. Mr. Penn continues to prove he is one of the premier talents working in Hollywood today. Penn, working alongside cinematographer Eric Gautier (The Motorcycle Diaries), captures the majesty of Alaska's wilderness and bring beauty to the everyday sights our protagonist encounters. As usual - I found myself compelled by the lighting, framing and vastness of the shots; I like nothing more than being awed by the glory that is our world beamed back at us in a darkened room. The performances are also out of this word. Emile Hirsch loses weight like Tom Hanks in that FedEx sponsored film, (remember the tooth ache scene?) yet remains true and believable in what amounts to a truly haunting performance. The three relationships he forges on his journey (shown in flashback sequences) are at times funny, comical and yet insightful about the way the relationships we choose to forge bond and develop up as Humans. The narration by his beloved sister keeps things moving nicely. And this film was nearly 3 hrs. long.

!!!Alex alert!!! You ain't gonna like the following: Eddie Vedder's remarkable songs, notably a cover of "Hard Sun," sound like the voice of Chris' unconscious. I stole that last line by the way. Watch for Vedder to take home and Oscar this year!

In other news:

Seems the Canucks can score eh Doc?

Tommorow's game: Nucks over the Flamers by two.

Oh yeah: Go Lions! Any of you buggers going to the game?

Hmm - the 'Boogie Man' might be in a bit of trouble from the league as well. Seems this game may take a bit of Colin Cambell's time up after all.

The Minnesota Wild were lost in the hockey jungle Friday night.

Down 4-0 to the Vancouver Canucks before the night was 17 minutes old, the Wild left GM Place 6-2 losers and with more than just sore feelings.

Wild centre Mikko Koivu received a two-handed baseball style slash from Canuck defenceman Mattias Ohlund with 4:54 remaining, the slash a retaliation after Koivu elbowed Ohlund in the face. Koivu took the blow behind his left knee but had little to say after the contest.

"No comment, buddy, no comment," a furious Koivu told reporters before limping to the shower.

Wild enforcer Derek Boogaard had no problem expressing his feelings on the matter. The Canucks and Wild meet again Wednesday in St. Paul.

"Obviously a slash like that, you expect to see at least a five-game suspension," said the 6-7 Boogie Man. "We'll see how things play out on Wednesday. Their so-called agitators were taking liberties, but as soon as I step on the ice, they scatter to their holes. I'm not going to stand for it.

"Maybe I go out and slash [Markus] Naslund or Pinky and the Brain twins."

Stephane Veilleux, who appeared to fire the puck at Canuck Mike Weaver as time expired, claimed he was just trying to "dump" it in.

"I expect some hard play on Wednesday," said Veilleux. "We've always been a team that plays with skill. We never do a cheap shot. That two-handed slash, that's crossing the line."

Wild coach Jacques Lemaire was far more diplomatic than his irate players and praised the Canucks for their comprehensive performance.

"Vancouver was good with the puck, they were skating well, every line was controlling play, which you don't have too often," said a surprisingly calm Lemaire. "They deserved the game better than we did. The slash? It was a slash, there's no doubt. He could have broken his leg.

"I just saw it quickly and I would have to review it to make a better comment. I'll leave it with the league. I have enough of my own problems to deal with."

The Wild, who began the season at 7-0-1, have won just three times in their last 11 games (3-7-1).

n Injured Canuck defencemen Sami Salo (broken nose) and Lukas Krajicek (broken ankle) both skated again Friday with Krajicek announcing he could play by the middle of next week. The Canucks are in Edmonton Tuesday and, of course, Minny Wednesday.

"The ankle is fine, I just need to get my legs back," Krajicek said. "I won't play Sunday [against Calgary] but if not Tuesday, then Wednesday."

Salo, meanwhile, experimented with both a full shield and a cage Friday and said he felt more comfortable with the cage.

Koivu Ohlund Incident 11/16/07

Hmm - nice game last night apart from this ugly incident from the otherwise alm, cool and collected M. Ohlund. I'm thinking it'll carry a two game suspension, with perhaps a game going against M. Gaboric for his earlier elbow to the head of Ryan Kesler. Thoughts?

Bear with this - Pretty cute.

Please take the time and watch this link...it shows the RCMP murdering a man. This story has caught my attention since it went public. Wow, I'm completely stunned. This man was agitated obviously. He was also behind glass and completely alone. NO THREAT! His only weapon appeared to be a tv dinner type end table. Holy shit, to finally see four fucking full grown men in body armor opt to taser a man/then kneel on his throat as opposed to simply taking him to the ground physically makes my tummy turn. Interesting to see that after the 'code red' has been announced in the airport; the officer who fired is calmly winding up the taser cable. The last man in appears to 'get tough' in the mayhem - and the redheaded kid makes quite the show of closing his baton by smashing it near the victims head! All the while, these 'emergency responders' do little other than fidget and look freaked out. There appears to be no attempt at first aid. Do they not carry pocket shields? Are they not trained in CPR? I know I am - however I'm not licensed to kill: only educated in an attempt to save. I'm absolutely appalled and would love nothing more than to see these 'insert nauseous adjective here' federal police officers sentenced to life. I hope the Polish Embassy makes a load of stink, and refuses to let this go away. I want to read the story of these cops trials and subsequent convictions. Why do I know it won't happen? Keep an eye out in the boonies if you're pulled over - that's where these fuck-ups will end up; the RCMP has a way of looking after their own. I've never been as ashamed to call this country home as I am now. Truly people, this is a national disgrace. Lordy.

http://www.cbc.ca/mrl3/8752/bc/ondemand/video/YVRTASERVIDEO.wmv

Sorry you'll have to paste - but I can't figure it out, and am truly too disturbed to learn/and or find an image to accompany. Wow.

Also a hearty 'fuck you' to the twits who attempted to keep this tape from the public. Thinking of recent events, I wonder if the RCMP has fallen to bits and needs disbanded or gutted from the top down...

I'm honestly ill right now...a pox on those cops. Alas, I'll assume it fair in thinking they are resting their wee 89 IQ filled skulls on pillows you and I paid for. I for one will be contacting my federal representatives tomorrow demanding an inquiry. This is as ghastly as anything I've ever seen.

You Are A Vampire

You have a real thirst for bliss, and you consider yourself a true hedonist. And you're not afraid to walk alone in life, if it means getting what you truly crave. You truly enjoy entrancing people. Not to mention the ensuing pleasures of the flesh. Your tastes have been called decadent and bizarre. You usually give in to your temptations, no matter how primal Your greatest power: Your flawless ability to seduce and charm Your greatest weakness: Human flesh You play well with: Werewolves

What Kind of Monster Are You?

Three games in a row...and games upcoming this Wed. and Fri. It's time for a bold prediction think I. I know Geo awaits a creak from the wheel...

Naslund, Sedin and Sedin will finish in the top five for points scored by a line if Coach Vignaeult keeps them together.

This team has what it takes to weather the storm and go deep.

Hold on Everyone.

Both upcoming games will be one-goalers. The Canucks will win both.

Hold on.

Defensive Woes Updated:

Sources tell TSN that Vancouver Canucks defenceman Kevin Bieksa's injury is worse than originally feared. "It could be months not weeks" is how Bieksa's prognosis is now being described.

Bieksa was originally expected to miss eight weeks after sustaining a deep cut on his right calf from the skate of Predators' forward Vernon Fiddler during the Canucks 3-0 loss to Nashville November 1st. That cut that was deeper than the Canucks initially thought.

Bieksa underwent surgery to repair the damage and was fitted with a cast following the procedure.

The belief is once the cast comes off, the Canucks blueliner will have to endure a lengthy rehabilitation process.

After a breakout campaign last season, Bieksa signed a three-year $11.25 million contract in the off season to anchor the Canucks blueline. He struggled in the early going with one goal and three assists in 12 games this season.

Meanwhile, Bieksa's teammate, Sami Salo is considered to be at least four weeks from returning.

Salo, who suffered a severely broken nose and cracked sinus cavity in the same game is having difficulty breathing due to swelling.

Lukas Krajicek, a third member of the Canucks defensive corps is likely at least two weeks away from returning after cracking a bone in his ankle last month

Oh my, Oh my...

Vid of the streaker from the Whitecaps vs Galaxy friendly match that brought Mr Beckam to Vancouver. Tell me, why is it that security guards are such weak tacklers? I'll admit it's probably not everyones cup of tea to tackle a naked stranger in the middle of the pitch, it just always seems to be a weak attempt! Thoughts? Love how the player teed up the ball and almost nailed him with it though...

On another note, Matt Cooke continues to be an embarrassment to my beloved Canucks. Once again, he throws a questionable hit and leaves Ohlund (yes Ohlie!) to mop up his mess. And now get this - Ohlund goes with UPPERCUTS to battle Dion Phaneuf. Gotta love that Ohlie. I've said this before, but I'll play the broken record card: Matt Cooke is a marginal player, rarely hits the net, and never backs up his bullshit antics on the ice. He's a shit disturber and not a particularly talented one. I'd love to see the prick gone - there's gotta be a reason he was voted "the most hated player in the NHL' a few years back.

snl-Dick in a Box

Just had to share this again in case any of you haven't actually seen this. Makes me laugh everytime.

Random Notes from this Wed Evening:

1. Happy birthday JFu you young bugger.

2. My niece is now in Honk Kong and will be updating her Asian holiday via her blog. She's listed under my links.

3. For Jacqui: Thinking I came up with a solution the the travel dilemma re. our Pop. Got him a sizeable gift certificate to FlightCenter for his upcoming BD. Ian is following suit, as will Rory I suspect. Let's see him not go now with all those $$$'s just laying there!

4. The Canucks will win by two goals tomorrow night. I will be wearing my Luongo jersey. Thusly - they must.

5. If the gangland shootings continue at this pace in Vancouver, there will be no more gangsters by the time the Olympics arrive. Then the Revolution will strike and take over our rightful position in this province.

6. Apparently the Mood isn't safe either: I just heard about a murder in NewPort Village from this past winter...heads up Doc!

7. Helene has arrived and is blogging like mad from la (le?) bell(e) province!
http://lnetlxchezlescaribous.blogspot.com/

8. Just received word that I will be OFFICIALLY hanging in Cloverdale from early January to early March doing back to back 'years' of my warehouse training. Should be some sweet times. Anyone knowing of motels/hotels/fleabag flophouses in the area ought let me know APAP. All those living in the Lower Mainland and reading this, take note: Your place will become said motels/hotels/fleabag flophouses apres noon on Friday. Warehouseman don't work past noon on Fridays!

9. TV without HDTV is, as Ron might say, for suckers. And yes JFu - HDNET is some seriously good programming.

10. Hmm - lacking a tenth point...hmm...Bailey is getting a bath and a haircut tomorrow, hope you all are as well!

Producers of the new Star Trek movie are to hold an open casting session for people with "unique" features to appear as extras in the film.

The studio said it was interested in people with unique characteristics like "long necks, small heads, bug eyes, large foreheads and oversized ears".



How perfect - and he's out of work to boot!

The Cars-Hello again(1984)

I was doing a little research into the life of Andy Warhol, and came across a link to him in this video. Man oh man - the Cars were some wild shit. Like the famous SNL 'More Cowbell' skit - you just don't hear synthesizers like this anymore. And didn't the lead singer (one freaky looking lad for sure!) marry some super hot model?

'Get your money for nothing, and your chicks for free'

Citing "two Swedish ice hockey sources," the Canadian newspaper reported that Forsberg left the ice after about an hour and told reporters he didn't pass his "personal test." He apologized to fans who bought tickets for the Karjala Cup, an annual event between Finland, Sweden, Russia and the Czech Republic. He then reportedly told the media that he realized he "made a fool of himself" and said, "I just can't do it."

It looks as though one of the greats of my generation is done. This was a player unlike others. Skilled, strong as an Ox (willing to play tough and dirty to boot!) and as good a goal scorer as any. Best of luck Foppa, and thanks for the memories. Think the best was watching him finish the game (obviously injured hard core) and get ye olde spleen removed afterwards...who says Swedes are soft?



According to the Globe and Mail, Forsberg left the ice at Sweden's national team practice on Monday after an hour, saying his ankle wasn't holding up.

"It's extremely tough and I know that everyone can understand how I feel," he told a Swedish television station.

"It doesn't feel good, I always try to stay positive, but today is a very dark day."

Seinfeld Lost Episode - Kramer At The Laugh Factory

In keeping with the Seinfeld theme...this is so fucking funny...

Jerry Seinfeld on the Larry King Show

God I hate Larry King....

For Lex:


If you're gonna change teams: here's Bob kissing center ice at the old Forum - I'll stick to Anglo ground myself! HeeHee.

A reported article pertaining to a comment received here that implied my description of Kevin Bieksa's injury was exaggerated:

BIEKSA PROGNOSIS WORSENS

The post-surgery prognosis on injured defenceman Kevin Bieksa could be worse than first feared.

Not only was Bieksa's calf lacerated Thursday against Nashville, it's believed the upper Achilles tendon of the Vancouver Canucks defenceman may also have been cut. That could lengthen the rehab process from two to four months. Bieksa remains immobilized in a cast up to his thigh.

And the Flamer's lost last night - beautiful.

Boys and Boxes is an exhibition by Kamloops artist Ian McDonald that features approximately 42 photographic portraits of technicians working at Highland Valley Copper, Canada’s largest open pit copper mine located near Logan Lake, an hour's drive southwest of Kamloops. The workers, all men, are specialists in a variety of trades, and the portraits include those of welders, heavy duty and automotive mechanics, electricians, machinists, tire men, and millwrights. McDonald, who also works at Highland Valley Copper, has photographed each man standing next to his tool box.



The men portrayed in Boys and Boxes are members of the United Steel Workers Union Local 7619. Their tool boxes are individualized with stickers, magnets, posters, and other decorations, and can be understood as physical extensions of the men’s personal identities. As portraits of individuals within a collectivized environment, the images examine the ways in which individuals assert their uniqueness within the group. Photographing with the camera at eye-level, McDonald creates equality between viewer and subject in these sensitive portraits.

Boys and Boxes is also a rare study of the mining industry’s demographics: nearly all the men in the photographs are in or near their fifties, representing a generation that came of age when trade opportunities were few and highly sought. Most of these men have worked at Highland Valley Copper for 20 years or more, and have experienced the miner’s life of closures, strikes, and mergers. McDonald’s images present a sociological perspective on an industry that is often viewed only through the lenses of economics or the environment.



The Kamloops Art Gallery is proud to present McDonald’s first solo exhibition in a public art gallery and to pay tribute to the mine workers in our community. The exhibition is accompanied by a full-colour catalogue with an essay by Thompson Rivers University instructor Terryl Atkins.


Twas neat to see the lads I know so well portrayed in this show. I pointed out men I liked, disliked and even guys who I knew intimately through ERT rescues to Jaime as we perused the portraits. The correlation between the men and their toolboxes was an interesting study - but I found the photography boring. That could be due to the fact that the subjects and their surroundings were so second-nature to me, but I went in expecting something more; more insight. I await the one reply whose opinion will be relevant...

I've already sent a shot at Mr. Brown via Facebook, and thusly I predict here that the Canucks will win this evening. I won't say by how many, who's gonna score etc. - but they will win. Mark my words. For those of you who disagree, here's an idea. If you're correct in your negativity, and reply by 9:30pm this eve; and shamefully pick the Avs to win (and they do) I will buy you a beer. Of course if I'm correct - it'll be Stella for me. Any takers???

Good morning and welcome to the Friday Freak-Out:

A little bit about last evening: My lovely lady, Jfu, myself and another couple decided on a night out for a few beverages at a restaurant in town that's owned by a group of NHL players. The draft beer tasted like salt, and was quickly abandoned for bottled brew. The server seemed uninterested when I suggested he sample the draft. (Two varieties were off,so there was obviously a problem with the lines.) He also left us dry far to often, but larger problems loomed. After said couple left, the three of us headed up to the lounge to catch the rest of the Nucks PPV game. Uh no - the bartender proceeds to tell us that the PPV costs 'like 3000 bucks, so we don't have it.' I am shocked and say something like 'But this place is owned by a bunch of hockey players!' We leave, find the game on across the road and watch the fallout. A blurb follows re. the chophouse that will likely NEVER see another cent of my hard earned cash:

Players Chophouse
Catch a game, join friends for a drink or enjoy a meal at Players Chophouse. The extensive menu includes fine chops and steaks, pizzas, pasta and more. The lounge features leather sofas and a fireplace while the rooftop patio is ideal for catching some rays.

'Catch a game' - uh, no.

Ok now onto the game: Team 1040 is reporting:

Sami Salo has a broken orbital bone, per Team 1040.

Kevin Bieksa has a 60% severed achilles tendon, per Team 1040.

Good luck to Sami and Kevin, as they appear to have a long road ahead of them recovery wise. As for Luongo getting booed by the faithful at GM Place; I've just seen the replays and I think I may have booed as well. All that said, the Canucks may be in fine pecking order in '08's draft.


This is simply put - fucking awful. I'm not going to whine or rant; the pain is still too fresh.

On other notes:

My 'hellish hole' improved by leaps and bounds since Wed. The hole is now merely a slit, and if all progresses well - this VAC treatment will be done next week.

I had a conversation yesterday with my WCB pion (contact - really, I didn't mean to call him something mean!) regarding what I'm being paid. After reading him some well researched data (thanks to my sexy lawyering lady) I arrived home this morning to a call stating that he was in fact, fucked in the head, and that we were, in fact, correct. Thus I'm now maxed out and will be getting a retroactive raise of $45 per week. Every bit helps right?

Over and out - enjoy yer weekend peeps.

Where's my money?

Oh man, love that crazy Stewie.

And the world crumbles for the Swiss Miss. Many moons ago, I had many a fantasy re. young Martina. It all began with a GQ photo shoot of her in a naughty/clingy black dress! Then she hooked up with Sergio Garcia. My affection wavered. Now we'll hear/see nothing from her ever again (hopefully) as she retires from tennis having allegedly tested positive for cocaine. I'm shocked that cocaine is still hip. How long til we find athletes on meth? All hopped up - having to take a break from the action to let teeth fall out/ pick at a scab - whatever?! Sorry to see ya go like this missy, should have retired with that ankle injury after all huh?

Today in History:




Jacques Plante broke with tradition and changed the face of hockey forever.

Jacques Plante was to become one of the National Hockey League's greatest goalies, but was never one to rest on his laurels. He would dare to be different and go against the game's "macho" traditions by wearing a protective face mask, and developed a very personal style of play in front of and behind the net.

The turning point came in a game at Madison Square Garden on November 1, 1959, when a powerful slap shot shattered his nose. After receiving a total of 200 stitches on his face, he decided he had paid his dues to the gods of the national sport and stubbornly held his own against coach Toe Blake, who believed a player had to "fight for his life" to play well. That same night, with his face sewn from nose to lip, Plante agreed to return to the ice only if he was allowed to wear his mask, which he had worn in practices since 1955. This cream coloured mask drew a mix of criticism, admiration and wisecracks. Nevertheless, the team won by a score of 4 to 1. To keep wearing the mask [which he was supposed to give up once he was healed], Plante outdid himself by leading the team on an 11-game winning streak and eventually winning the Stanley Cup the following spring.

A resourceful and stubborn individual, Plante did not fit hockey stereotypes. The oldest of 11 children in a Shawinigan family during the Depression, he knew how to cook, sew, and knit. A sports columnist remembered seeing him in goal for the Montréal Royals at age 22 wearing a toque and jersey he had knitted himself.

Plante produced the masks himself. He made several models for himself and fellow players, constantly improving their strength, visibility and lightness. In the 1960s and 1970s, protective masks with captivating graphics flourished in the NHL. Today, players wearing helmets and visors are a common sight.

But even his masks could not outshine Plante's free-ranging style in the goal crease. The mask made Plante more confident, daring and astute. He had a very unique technique of moving out of the crease to cut down angles and stop pucks or pass them to his defencemen behind the "cage." In various ways, Jacques Plante managed to influence and shape the rules of the game. His innovative spirit gave hockey a new face.

And in keeping with the gory Halloween tradition: This is the hole in my leg! To most of you (ok - all of you) it's not looking so great. To me, it's absolutely smashing this morning. This is a huge improvement over even Mon. The sides are really filling in now, and there is a lot of 'bridging' of spots where there was no live tissue to speak of. The bone is now fully covered, and absolutely no sign of any further infection. The sucker is really growing me some new tissue, and will be covered over fully in no time now. The red tissue you see to left of the hole is all new growth, and that yellowish tinge within the hole is new tissue that covers the once visible white bone! The white spots look a little odd, but are also a good sign. Hope I put you all of your candy, your dentist will thank me!



Click the image for 'super-scary gory size!' Buh-haa-haa-haa!

The Robertson Family Pumkins:



Happy scary-day y'all!

Star Wars Trumpet Solo

How cool is this shit? Love her hair!

HMM - seems the wheels are beginning to fall of the wagon: In keeping with my 'cut and paste' style of late, I offer this up for your reaction:

Last night’s game was the final straw for me…

Whether you read the paper, watch the highlights, peruse the blogs or keep your ear to the ol’ butter churn people are frustrated with the Canucks early season woes.

Have we reached a tipping point? Are we finally ready to wake up and realize what people have been thinking since last year? Are we ready to become Washington Generals fans? We might as well…

Last year’s team was successful after Christmas and managed to win the division. Was this a product of adept coaching, skilled players, a solid system, etc..? Maybe, but I really think that last years’ team overachieved. On the Rik Ocasek sliding scale of overachievement what the Canucks did last year was nothing short of dating an underwear model.

Well, this year all the flaws, all the tarnished, chinks in the armor have begun to emerge:

1. Skill – Currently, if you go down the rosters of the top 8 teams in each conference the Canucks are woefully lacking in skilled forwards. The Sedins and Naslund would be able to be on the first or second line on most of the top 16 teams but as for the rest of our forwards these guys would only be able to crack the third or fourth lines. Now, it’s great that we have some solid third liners but we need a quality second line. A line that takes the scoring pressure off of Henrik and Daniel and removes the top two checking lines and top two defensive pairings off of the Twins. Too many dummies and not enough ventriloquists. I mean, My God!!! How can we be last in the league in shots on net!!!

2. Mediocre goalie play – Luongo is great. I love Luongo. I really do but he has let in his share of soft goals this year and since The Canucks only score in Olympic like fashion (once every 4 periods) he needs to stop those. Sidenote: I’m so sick of people ragging on Cloutier’s “breakdown” in the Detroit Series where Lidstrom scored from the redline. I think Canucks fans are a wee bit myopic when it comes to this gaff because we lost a series last year when our goalie “forgot” that the play was still going and decided to leave the net to argue with the referee allowing the Ducks to pot a series ender. I’m just saying.


3. The Man – Pepsi, McDonalds, Sony – Every business is dependant on their customer. The company supplies a service/good in exchange for money. The better the product (whether it really is better is debatable) the more product you will sell and therefore the more money you will make. How is this gauged? How does the consumer drive this formula? Simple, if they don’t like the product they stop buying it. Pepsi’s foray into the world of clear soda, McDonald’s ramming of the MCDLT down our throats all suffered quick deaths because the consumer said: “This sucks and my dollars will now go elsewhere.” By hurting the company’s bottom line the consumer was able to effect change in the marketplace. The Canucks are a business putting an inferior product on the ice but instead of showing our displeasure by not going, buying merchandise, etc… we continue to make sure that GM Place is perennially sold out, the PPV events are overflowing with cash and that crappy new jersey is sold in droves. If we want change, if we want a better team we have to show our displeasure by boycotting the product. You know, we can be fans but we don’t have to be fanatics. It’s ok to be critical…. It may lead to a better product.


Finally, some other points…

Is the end goal of a sports franchise to make money or to win the trophy? Ask yourself without any bias whatsoever if the Canucks are cup contenders with their current line up? Do you see them as contenders in the next 3-4 years?

Now, project 2 –3 years in the future. Do we have the players on the farm to supplement our team to make them contenders? Have we drafted well enough?

Will Luongo be willing to wait for us to make these adjustments? There is such a finite window to have your ducks in a row or at least in a good enough spot to make a run and with The Sedins and 2/3 of our D Corps getting older? Will we be able to compete for the Cup with an ever shrinking UFA market because of the cap and our shoddy record of drafting and scouting? Oh, the trade route? Well, what quality players would you give up if you were the GM on another team for some of our pluggers and prospects? Maybe Schenider, Bourdon and Edler?

Mason Raymond – Am I the only one that doesn’t see this guy as an NHL talent? I mean, he’s got 0 points, only a handful of shots on net and he’s way too easily pushed around on the ice. He seems to be a second behind everyone else whether it’s D Zone coverage or fanning on a one timer. Nope, he’s a bust.

Vigneault – Ok, this guy was the Jack Adams winner last year so why is he not able to “coach” us out of this slump? What’s changed? Was his pact with Satan only good for one year? Oh, enough with the line juggling. It’s making me dizzy. Leave, The Sedins with Pyatt and go from there. Raymond, Naslund, etc.. are not as good with them as Pyatt is.

Well y'all - I've been promising gore for some time - so Happy Halloween! I forgot my camera today when I went for the VacDressing change. I reckon that if I'm stuck with this unit for the next three weeks, that I might as well update the wee holes progress. It looked good today and shall be even better on Monday with any luck. Regardless, it's a whole hell of a lot better than the following pic. I don't remember taking this. Found it on my cel today. It was taken about 40 hrs after surgery - so I must have snapped it while the dressing was being changed. Those were some nasty days - lots of morphine, thus the lack of memory I suppose. This is the least gory of the three I (apparently) took. Where you see the bloodiest spot is where the hole is currently. It's about the size of a pencil eraser and shrinking daily. I will talk to the surgeon(s) again in early Nov. and will really up the heat for those X-rays; cuz they are some cool shit.

OH MY, MY NAZZY!

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!Despite the ramblings in the local press - seems Naslund and Vigneault are getting along just fine...

More 'Inter-Web' theft for your perusal. Firsl line in the following quote is almost as funny as the pic of Ron:



A few simple techniques will have your pumpkin lasting like Walt Disney. You already have many of the best preservation products lying around the house.

I read a few websites that said you should coat the cut surface with Vaseline or you can use something called "Pumpkin Preserver" that you buy at the halloween store.

I doubt it will surprise you if I told you I don't do either of those things.

For one thing, I hope to get through my entire life without covering anything with Vaseline. Second, I am not making a special trip to a store for something called Pumpkin Preserver. I don't have time for that crap.

I spray the crap out of the pumpkin with WD-40. It seems like it is similar to Vaseline. Petroleum right? It is clear and I already have a can of it. Usually that can is within 10 steps of where I am carving a pumpkin. Best of all, it works.

Actually, I don't even use name brand WD-40, I use the dollar store variety. I especially like the name "Spra Loos". That is a sweet name.

People keep writing me and asking if this really works and/or if it is dangerous. The answer is yes it does really work. You spray the entire pumpkin inside and out and it will prevent rotting for a while. Keep in mind that a pumpkin will usually start to rot in about 3 days of cool (70 degree) weather and less in hot weather so don't carve those pumpkins too early.

Also, some folks seem to think that WD40 will combust violently when they put a tealight candle in the pumpkin. To them I say nope! The oil in WD40 is flamable indeed but it really will only combust when it is vaporized. Once it is on the surface of the pumpkin it won't light. Trust me, I've tried to light a pumpkin on fire in a number of ways. Just don't spray the WD40 on the pumpkin while the candle is burning.


Enjoy carving y'all!

OK - I laughed so damned hard I think a little pee might have come out. This pic will only make sense to a given few - but holy shit is this some wacky business. If only I could attach a laugh track. I'm crying, must keep the salty discharge off the keyboard.

Considering all the defensive problems the Canucks have endured, the lack of attention being paid to the injured Sami Salo is somewhat astounding. I say somewhat because Salo still has a reputation as a primarily offensive defenceman – he’s the guy with the big shot – so it’s understandable (albeit misguided) that his imminent return doesn’t have fans overly excited. After all, it’s defensive breakdowns that have been the Canucks’ demise, not the power play.





Make no mistake about it, though; Salo will make a big difference when he plays either Wednesday in Detroit or Friday in Washington. That’s because, dare I say it, he’s the best defenceman on the club. You might disagree. I wouldn’t blame you. It’s a strong statement considering the quality of the Canucks’ back end. If you’d like to fight about it, let’s arrange a time and place. No head or groin shots. Also, we will be wearing those sumo suits.





But seriously, folks, here’s what’s good about Salo: he was +21 last year, tops on the team, and he was second in scoring among d-men with 37 points (Kevin Bieksa led with 42). Here’s what’s even better: Salo took just 26 minutes in penalties over 67 games. Compare that to Bieksa with 134 PIM in 81 games, Mattias Ohlund (80 in 77), Willie Mitchell (45 in 62) and Lukas Krajicek (64 in 78).





Granted, in Bieksa’s case particularly, not all those minutes resulted in an opposition power play, but Salo was by far the best at avoiding the lazy hooking and holding minors that occur when forwards get body position.





One other thing that Salo does well is move the puck. What does that actually mean? Well, you know how once in a while Mitchell gets it in the Canucks’ end and you can feel the panic before he rattles it high off the glass and out? Salo doesn’t do that. He actually finds the open man and starts the rush.





Salo has also, to the KB’s knowledge, never allowed Chad LaRose, a player with nine goals in 138 career games, to sneak behind him like a beer-league seagull and score on a breakaway from the blue line in. (Just saying is all.)





Putting the Panic in Perspective





The Canucks (4-5-0) have played nine games. The season is 82 games long. That means they’ve played approximately 11 percent of their schedule. A CFL team plays 11 percent of its schedule in two games. So if you’re already panicking about the Canucks, you’re essentially panicking about a 1-1 football team. So stop panicking and get a hold of yourself.





And while we’re here, let’s remember that Vancouver started the 2005/06 season 8-1-1. They missed the playoffs. Last year, they started 8-10-1 and were 17-18-1 at Christmas. They won the division.





BC's Shame





So Cranbrook’s Scott Niedermayer won the Conn Smythe Trophy in the 2007 Stanley Cup Finals, Victoria’s Steve Nash was the NBA’s MVP in 2005 and 2006, New Westminster’s Justin Morneau was the American League’s MVP in 2006 and North Delta’s Jeff Francis is starting Game 1 of the 2007 World Series. My question is as follows: why is British Columbia not producing NFL stars? It’s a total joke. A complete embarrassment.





Beating a Dead Horse, Running a Granny





Roy MacGregor wrote an article today about the CFL’s importance in Saskatchewan. It didn’t tell us anything we don’t know, unless you didn’t know the CFL is pretty darn important in Saskatchewan. The reason it warrants mention is the quote by one Lori Cosh, a Roughriders’ season ticket holder.



"We consider the NFL an inferior league to the CFL," she said. "For heaven's sake, my grandmother can run 10 yards in four tries."



For heaven’s sake, why do insecure CFL fans feel the need to bash the NFL with such stupid arguments? You know what, Lori? Prove it. Throw granny out there. Give the ole gal the ball. Four tries. Ten yards. Let’s see it.



Okay - thought I'd do a wee cut and paste job from my fav. blog - them lads is funny! Sumo suits, that is some fine blogging action. Some of you may know the site, others maybe not. Now be like me - cut and paste!

http://communities.canada.com/theprovince/blogs/kurtenblog/default.aspx

Will they be Jekyll or Hyde tonight? Hopefully the puck won't be in our end tonight as pictured above. I'm not going to hit the panic button yet, but a whole period (30+ min.) yesterday without recording a single shot on net? Rather frightening to say the least. The good news is that Kesler and Bieksa looked like they cared. The bad news is Morrison looked aloof. That said, this club performs better on the road, so I'm taking Vancouver by two - let's say 2 nil. And being the headcase I am, you probably will not see me pick anyone other than Vancouver all season! Blog style congratulations to Mike Weir who beat out the crappy field in this weekends PGA event to get back in the winner's circle. God, I'd love to golf right now, win or lose - Alas.

As if the Canuck's recent difficulties on the ice weren't bad enough already:



Police arrested 32-year-old teacher Christopher Paul Neil in Thailand on Friday after a global manhunt.

He is suspected of appearing in 200 online images of child abuse.

The international police agency Interpol appealed for help after experts unscrambled digitally distorted photos of the suspect.

Mr Neil appeared in court unshaven, wearing sunglasses, a cap and a red-striped T-shirt.

DEAR GOD - The Moby look pedophile (alleged of course!) alike is a Nucks fan? Fuck this just isn't good. Anyone else find it a wee bit ironic this fella toyed with the idea of the priesthood before taking on a job within spitting distance of Thailand? Hmm. Thought I'd bring his choice of headwear to your attention in anticipation of the Doc discovering it first. Thusly, attempting to ward off a full on web styled blogger vendetta/Nucklead bashfest.

Coming soon to a living room near me!



TH-50PX75
50” High-definition plasma television

High-definition panel
1080p Digital processing
Digital re-mastering
c3 Image enhanced
HDMI with EZsync® (2 inputs)
Photo viewer (SDHC)
Simulated surround sound
Energy star® qualified

For those of you who are unfamiliar - this is one wack series. I'm half way through the first season; and loving it. Showtime is so beyond brilliant - it ought be the bar every network reaches for. Thankfully they don't and leave all the brilliant programming to ST, who have proven again they're the masters. Enjoy if you chose to follow a serial killer, who - get this, kills other serial killers.

'Because its murder by numbers, one, two, three
Its as easy to learn as your abc's
Murder by numbers, one, two, three
Its as easy to learn as your abc's'


'Now if you have a taste for this experience
And you're flushed with your very first success
Then you must try a twosome or a threesome
And you'll find your conscience bothers you much less'

Credit:

Sting tops Blender’s list of worst lyricists

Music mag says rock star’s words betray ‘pomposity,’ ‘cloying spirituality’

This one is for you Ron. The crow (aka Marc Crawford) will bring his bumbling LA Kings into the Garage tonight to take on the Nucks who still search valiantly for an identity. My prediction - Canucks by four. Brazen eh? I'm sticking with it. I'd love to be in the stands, wearing my new Jersey (from my lovely lady) and Caw, Caw, Cawing it up. Fuck that was some good times.

WELLINGTON, New Zealand -- A New Zealand brewer is hoping for the safe return of a stolen laptop. The computer turns out to contain all of Croucher Brewing Company's financial information, plus its business contacts and the designs for its new beer labels. The company is offering as a reward, free beer for life. Actually, a dozen bottles of beer a month, for life. Co-owner Paul Croucher says the offer hasn't produced the computer, but it has prompted calls from lots of people who say they're looking for it. He blames the theft on a flimsy lock and "opportunistic kids." If you can't find me for a few days - you know where I'll be. On the case! That's right, on the case...

Hey Matt, let's try and do a bit of the above tonight please. Love ya when you skate, hit, and score!
Hate yer guts when you're one of these. Prediction - Canucks smarten the hell up and win a close one tonight. 3-2.

On another completely unrelated note; I called my usual Chimney Sweep to do their thing prior to indoor fire season this morning. Buddy's wife proceeds to tell me that it'll be $150. I tell her this is double what they charged me last year and inquire to the increase. She informs me they are busy. I tell her my mechanic is busy too, but he doesn't bill me on a sliding scale. She tries to brush this off with a laugh and attempts to confirm my appointment for next week. I tell her that there is no way in hell that I'm paying double because it's Fall. She now proceeds to inform me that this was their idea to convince customers to have the sweeping done in the Spring, when as she put it, 'They're hurting for money." Laughter ensues. I tell her that she can't count on my cash or business anymore and that I'll be calling around for other quotes. She tells me they could do it right away. Imagine that, not busy despite doubling the going rate? Hmm. I get off the phone. Got a guy booked next week for $70. Must try that stunt with my boss when I get back to work. 'I'm kinda busy during the golf season - my hourly rate just doubled!'

Think these idiots are gonna be in a wee bit of trouble? These two cowboys were photographed at UBC flirting with the gals. My prediction - immediate relocation to somewhere a bit more northern and chillier than LotusLand!