Hurry back Lou, Mats is coming to play! Every contending club in the league has a hulking centerman, and now we do as well. Good work; I'm officially giddy - the Sedins now have room to play, and opposing clubs Dmen are gonna be spread thin trying to line up against a club who's already 8th in league scoring. This is gonna play out beautifully, mark my words.

Happy Holidays:



As if I didn't need another yet another reason NEVER to go to Wal Mart"

A Wal-Mart worker has died after being trampled by a throng of shoppers shortly after a store opened Friday on Long Island in New York State, police said.

Frenzied shoppers desperate for bargains broke down the doors at a 5 a.m. sale. Other workers were trampled as they tried to rescue the man, and customers shouted angrily and kept shopping when store officials said they were closing because of the death, police and witnesses said.

At least four other people, including a woman who was eight months pregnant, were taken to hospitals for observation or minor injuries, and the store in Valley Stream on Long Island closed for several hours before reopening.

Shoppers stepped over the man on the ground and streamed into the store. When told to leave, some complained that they had been in line since Thursday morning.

Cleary a moron...

I love that she used the words 'Pretty Brutal' at the start of this interview! I mean really, does this woman have absolutely no common sense? No idea of where she's standing? Where the camera is pointed? I'm sure one could blame this on her 'handlers', but that's far too easy in my opinion. And why, can someone tell me - does she sound like a character from Fargo (MIN) when she's from Alaska. That accent is puzzling, but not nearly as puzzling as opting to be interviewed in front of Turkeys being bled. And on that note, don't you just love that guy behind her? I KNOW he's thinking something along the lines of:

'Huh Huh, gonna be on the TV. All the boys down at the tavern gonna finally see I'm the best damn turkey processing engineer! I told em, told em I'm good at whats I do!'

Little kid gets owned by dog

Had the kid just dropped his gloves and fought like a man, he may not have gotten - well, humped.

Watch it all

This failblog.com is some good stuff kiddos....

My Angel and I were just discussing my blog. Seems she was after an alternative ending to a certain Will Smith film. We both knew I'd commented on it in the past. It got me perusing backwards through my interweb life, and realizing that I've tossed out some nonsense that I'm kinda, sorta, a wee bit happy with. I haven't posted anything lately that makes me walk with that certain swagger. I haven't posted anything of late that makes me order my morning coffee with the authority of a pseudo journalist. For this I'm somewhat ashamed, but realizing that true art can't be rushed; I assure you that I'll be back with the insightful witticisms you expect from a site headed by a monkey smoking. Or I'll post some UTube shite, and bitch about bad films...keep you posted!!!

You all had better be excited about this, and checking in thrice daily for the upcoming posts. The advertising dollars are keeping my 42 diabetic kittens on kidney dialysis, and their future is in your hands!

Garth Snow ices one hell of a club!

These kids are hoping to become the Isles of the Bossy era one day! Who was the Islander of that era with the craziest helmet ever BTW?

At least I've blogged since July......

Madness!!!!

JFu is officially the only person I know who's on YouTube. Thankfully, my newspaper kilt has yet to see a broad circulation.

Rather Clever:

Nice to see the second best film franchise shall continue:



Universal 'to make fourth Bourne'

Fictional CIA assassin Jason Bourne will appear in a fourth film, according to trade newspaper Variety.

It says actor Matt Damon will reprise the lead role in the fourth instalment of the Bourne franchise, with Paul Greengrass directing once again.

It will be the first Bourne film not to be based on the novels of late US author Robert Ludlum, Variety said.

George Nolfi, who co-wrote last year's Bourne Ultimatum screenplay, will pen the story, it added.

Robert Ludlum wrote a trilogy of Bourne novels before his death in 2001.

Since his death, there have been a further three Bourne novels - all written by thriller and fantasy author Eric Van Lustbader.

Bond criticism

British director Greengrass has directed the last two film versions.

It was previously thought The Bourne Ultimatum movie, which followed 2004's The Bourne Supremacy and 2002's The Bourne Identity, would be the last of the films in the franchise.

It topped UK and US box office charts and made nearly $450m (£258m) around the world.

Last year, Damon dismissed rival franchise James Bond as being stuck in the past.

"The Bond character will always be anchored in the 1960s and in the values of the 1960s," he said.

The suave spy was "anachronistic when you put it in the world we live in today", he added but said that Bourne was no better or worse than Bond.

The latest Bond film, Quantum of Solace, is released across the UK on 31 October.

Odd how the world works. Watched 'The Sting' last night and thoroughly enjoyed it. Woke up, checked the news only to find Paul Newman has finally succumbed to cancer. He was a great one - Slapshot, Cool Hand Luke, the Great Escape, Hud, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid are all favorites of mine. He was a philanthropist unlike any. He created camps for terminal children, a model which is now in use all over the world. And his salad dressing is a regular staple in my fridge. Vanity fair ran a great article on him last month; well worth the read. RIP you handsome blue eyed racing machine!

Looks like God (aka Roberto Luongo) is ready to roll - see him peeking round the corner to see if the Zamboni is off the ice yet? He's excited, and so am I. Pre season games tomorrow and Tuesday! Both on TV...sweet!!! I'm also happy to publicly announce that I'm going to Montreal in Feb to cheer on my team. It will be undoubtedly be the finest hockey holiday to date. Anyone know where I can get some Nuck's colored face paint by the way???

Alrighty - Here we go. As some of you may or may not know, I planted a few too many tomato plants this year. My lovely lady and I hit Art Knapps and seemingly chose a few plants far to late in the season to see much fruit. Ahh, nope. I've just finished a pot of sauce that'll now simmer til tommorrow when it'll get bagged and frozen. I'd rather put it into tupperware, saved 750 ml. yogurt containers and the like, but alas I'm out. Anyhoo - here's my recipe:

Mucho oil into a 12 quart pot.
Dice onion (amount depending on the mood) Today was two.
Heat another pan for meat. See above. Today was pork,veal, and turkey.
Get going on cooking the onion you fool, you have shit to do!
While the onion browns, get your ass in gear and finely chop some celery.
Add celery, have you looked at the amount of tomatoes in the sink?
Fucking hurry up - there is garlic to be minced.
Move the pan to less heat, you're way too slow.
Deal with chopping the five assorted peppers, catch up already!
Add first meat to pan, brown while adding peppers to pot.
That meat better not be burning! Add the garlic to the pot, follow with the meat.
Phew, crack a beer.
Fuck - those tomatoes are still in the sink!
Gulp some of that beer!
Prep part of the tomatoes while making sure that O so lean veal doesn't burn.
Add tomatoes and veal.
Going pretty well, time to worry bout the carrots and zuccini.
Fuck.
Out to the garden - grab said ingredients, and run back in.
Worry bout the heat all the way in.
Whew!
Drop heat on both pans.
Move tomatoes into one sink to allow washing and peeling of new goodies.
Peel said goodies.
Grade said goodies.
Didn't even end up with a grading wound, some old Italian lady is blessing me.
Phew - all caught up, have a sip of beer. It's gone? Fuck - open another.
Return pans to heat, continue prepping tomatoes.
Last of the meats into pan.
Fucking pan needs more oil - quickly now...
Good Lord - how can there still be so many tomatoes?
Continue prepping those goodies, and add em with the last of the meat.
Gotta deglaze that pan - that's tast stuff and this sauce needs liquid!
Hmmm - my honey likes sugar in her sauce...
Deglaze with OJ and wine.
Speaking of wine, where's my beer?
Aahhh.
Toss in the zuccini and carrot.
Stir, and enjoy the beer - Who's gonna clean this mess up?
Hmm - the pot isn't quite full, and I think there are another ten ripe ones...
Out to the garden, inside - chop like a madman and in they go.
The little cherry tomatoes look so lovely floating all on their own.
Solid among their lesser, deconstructed cousins.
Time to season I wonder? Pull the herbs out, glare at my dull knife...
Forgot the Fungus! Chop, Chop, Chop - in goes four cups of assorted beauty
Getting full now that pot is, season up at attempt a stir.
Gotta be more of a 'push down and blend' style. It'll work!


That will be 40 plus liters this year. Next batch will be lasagna. I hear you can make salsa with the green ones - or I could burn down the garden!!!

Huhh

Wow, the theme is the same - but it seems the production value has gone considerably on the latest Bond film...

The jackasses Pratt and (Monkey Boy) Taylor are discussing Vancouver restaurants. The premise is that Canuck's GM M. Gillis is taking the twins out for dinner. The simian and Mr. Crown Royal are yapping about what restaurant it ought be. Monkey Boy recommends the Brave Bull. Yet, he hasn't been there. Idiot. He also called Jameison's one of the best restaurants in the lower mainland. Let's not forget he wears a faux mohawk! Pratt can't recommend anything outside of Yaletown, where I'm sure he falls down and barfs on a regular basis. These two are beyond bad, yet they are my radio crack. I can't stop listening. And it's not helping my BP! LOL...can't wait to go back to the Bull though. The best was the little old lady revved up over unfinished veggies! Twas a great meal, unassuming as it were...

A pesty one-two punch: Tussock moth and spruce budworm could equal devastation of forests by pine beetle

by Cam Fortems

Two natural pests threaten to slam into the Interior in the biggest outbreak of defoliators in a century, a government entomologist warned Thursday.

Lorraine Maclauchlan, an expert with the Ministry of Forests, outlined the threat and early plans for dealing with tussock moth and spruce budworm to a TNRD board meeting Thursday.

Both insects threaten to reach populations that could devastate Interior forests in the same way as mountain pine beetle.

“We’re approaching the worst defoliating event we’ve had in 100 years,” Maclauchlan said in an interview with reporters.

The province spent about $2 million last year on spray programs, using naturally occurring organisms, to control the insects in this region. Both are moths that feed on fir and spruce trees as caterpillars.

So let me get this right. We're seemingly not logging much of the bug kill in this province at the moment. Now we're faced with the seemingly inevitable destruction of two other species. And a weekly 6-49 or Super 7 winner could theoretically throw more money at this problem than our government managed last year? Un Fucking Believable.

Watch when Bill flashes his card...

Balls found inside 'rattling' dog

A dog had to have 13 golf balls removed from its stomach after eating them on walks around a Fife course.

Owner Chris Morrison had been taking five-year-old black labrador Oscar round the Pitreavie golf course in Dunfermline for several months.

He took Oscar to the vet after noticing a rattling sound coming from his pet's stomach.

They then discovered that 13 balls - each weighing 45 grams - were lodged in his stomach.

Mr Morrison, a planning administrator, said one of the balls had been in his stomach so long that it had turned black and was decomposing.

He said: "He finds golf balls like truffles. We're not sure how long exactly this happened over, but it must have been a fair period - several months at least.

"I felt his stomach and heard them rattling around.

"He normally brings a few home, but I had no idea he had eaten so many.

He is a black lab so he is a fair size, but to swallow 13 is quite amazing
Chris Morrison

"The vet hadn't seen anything like it, it was bizarre.

"He is a black lab so he is a fair size, but to swallow 13 is quite amazing."

The balls were removed two weeks ago in a successful hour-long operation.

Bag full

Oscar is now on the road to making a full recovery on a special post-operation diet of watered-down food.

He also has to wear a muzzle while out and about.

Mr Morrison added: "He does get a bit frustrated now and again."

Bob Hesketh, 40, principal vet at Vetrica in Rosyth, said he had never seen anything like it.

He said: "It was like a magic trick. I opened him up and felt what I thought was two or three golf balls.

"But they just kept coming until we had a bag full.

"I think they must have been in there for several months, one was all black and the shell was swollen."

Forgot how classic this is...

Man oh man, haven't listened to all of it yet; but wow. Just bought this album in the ITunes store, and it's pretty wonderful. Gonna go dig out my Willie Tee for tomorrow. That man rules, and manning up with a wonderful horn player makes for some good listening.

Good stuff

It must be brutally difficult to broadcast live. It must be even more difficult to spawn the (hopefully) future president of the USA in the way decribed in this vid...

Cuban fighter attacking judge in taekondo

Not very sporting at all! Apparently, after a minute of injury time, the fighter was disqualified. He then decided to kick the ref in the face. Yikes.

An update to a post that created quite a wee buzz here:



A U.S. army deserter who fled to Canada rather than fight in Iraq was sentenced to 15 months in prison Friday, his lawyer said.

Pte. Robin Long, 25, of Boise, Idaho, faced a maximum jail term of three years, civilian lawyer James Branam said.

Long reached an agreement with prosecutors to plead guilty to desertion with intent to remain away permanently, a lesser charge than desertion with intent to shirk hazardous duty.

The soldier told a military judge in Fort Carson, Colo., that he fled when his unit was deployed to Iraq because of moral objections to what he felt was an illegal war.

Prosecutors said he abandoned his duty and his country.

Long came to Canada in 2005 and sought refugee status, but his claim was denied. He was deported from British Columbia on July 15 after a judge refused to grant a stay of his deportation order.

But as a Scot...

this video moves me much more. I Love my Glass Tiger.

'cold steel glistens in the dawning sun"

WOW - they were good....

Don't BOO Geo - just don't do it

Man, I loved this bad when I was 15ish. My cousin and I traveled to Vancouver as 15 and 16 year olds to check out the gig. It was so good, we followed them to Victoria to see it all again. As it turns out, we ran out of money and food, and limped back into town on fumes. Good fucking times. Gotta go sing along now...

Guy Jumps Over a Bull

Just a little more evidence that Spaniards are the craziest MoFo's on the globe.

Tiger Woods 09 - Walk on Water

Good stuff!

Terminator Salvation

This guy is white, and doesn't look anything like Quint - WTF????




How desperate can you get? The following account may provide an answer.

A Colorado man claimed to be a police detective in order to obtain free X-rated movies from an adult shop.

Off course he didn’t get them. But he insisted. According to police report, the impersonator tried to fool the employees of the adult store on three separate occasions during a period of nine days last month (on July 18, 19 and 26). He told employees that he was a detective and he needed copies of the X-rated movies to make sure that there were no under-aged performers involved.

After shop employees turned him down three times, the manager called police.

The impersonator wasn’t all talk. He showed the store’s employees a badge and left them a business card from the Longmont police "age verification unit." The unit doesn’t exist.

"It was inventive on his part, I'll give him that," Cmdr. Tim Lewis said according to The Denver Post.

Inventive and cautious - the business card he left had no identification whatsoever on it, but police investigators have images from the shop’s surveillance camera and they are currently looking for him.

Lewis said the police department does not have detectives that verify the ages of those involved in the pornographic industry.

"That's a little too specialized for us," he said.

Whatcha looking at moron?

Hear an interesting tidbit re the Beijing games on my way back from physio this morning. It seems the Chinese gov. have seen fit to close all of the restaurants that have traditionally served dog meat in their dishes because it would not appeal to Western sensibilities. Which brings us to this though: are the pork dishes banned to appeal to the Muslims, are the beef plates sidelined to ease the Hindu's concerns. I wonder why, in this big old globe of ours, everyone kneels down to the West.

A little word about my patio. It's holding an upcoming party (the big one Ron dreams of) and will be home to BO '08 later this month.

Hiram brought me this today. Look at the placement - right on the threshold. He's saying "Thanks for feeding me dad - here's a treat for you. Love ya!" What a man! Love the little guy; he made this kill with a bell on to boot! What a swell wee hunter.



This is the little monster. He's now an inside/outside cat, and is a way cooler critter as a result.




On another note; I'm looking after a friends house/canine til Fri. It went to 38 degrees today, so I went to rescue the mutt. His dog met Bailey once through a fence and was awfully snarly. Brought her to my place, and was amazed to watch the difference. My (almost 13 yr old) hound knows this is her home, and made the heavier, younger dog bow to her will.

This too happened on the deck - it's like Dunc's wild kingdom out there!

Iggy Pop truck stolen after show

A truck full of instruments and stage gear belonging to singer Iggy Pop and band The Stooges has been stolen after they played at a festival in Montreal.

Their road manager told the Detroit Free Press newspaper the stolen gear was worth tens of thousands of dollars.

The veteran rocker and his band are playing in North America ahead of a European tour later this month.

The star, 61, known for his wild stage antics, will play dates including London's Get Loaded in the Park.

'Priceless' instruments

The band's road manager Eric Fischer told the Detroit Free Press some "priceless" vintage instruments were among those stolen.

They include bassist Mike Watt's Gibson instrument, which he first used in US punk band Minutemen in the early 1980s.
We're all just gutted
Road manager Eric Fischer

"That bass would go in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame some day if we could find it," Mr Fischer told the paper.

"We're all just gutted."

Mr Fischer said the truck had been taken from the road outside the hotel the band were staying at after their performance on Sunday night.

He told the paper that the band's scheduled Wednesday night performance in Toronto would go ahead as planned using rented and donated equipment.

It would seem nothing is safe in Montreal - I got my wallet picked there in Sept., and now they're stealing from Iggy! Unbelievable. OK Doc, I'll stop making fun of the Mood for a while, and focus my rants on le belle province.

Happy 150th to this Utopia we call home. Let's all reflect on what we love about this province...I love that I found my lady here. And cuz it's like - pretty.

THIS IS TRULY MESSED UP:


'Pub ban' order for wife killer

A judge has told a Glasgow pensioner that stopping him going to the pub was a "more meaningful" sentence than a prison term for killing his wife.

Edward Flaherty, 74, was convicted of strangling 69-year-old Ina Flaherty with a tie after she refused to give him money to go out drinking.

Lord Matthews said Flaherty's dementia made him unsuited to prison.

He imposed a year-long restriction of liberty order which will keep him inside his home during opening hours.

The pensioner will be tagged and banned from leaving his home in the city's Drygate area between 1100 and 2300 BST after being found guilty of culpable homicide.

At the High Court in Glasgow, Lord Matthews told Flaherty that under normal circumstances he would have been given a prison sentence in double figures.

He said: "I have read and considered a number of reports from experts. It is plain to me that if I were to impose that sort of sentence you would be released in a very short time because prison would not be able to cope with your condition.

"Sentencing you would just be a token gesture. I am anxious to impose a sentence that restricts your liberty.

"You still go to the pub where you went with your wife. That must annoy her relatives.

"Not being able to go there will be a more meaningful disposal than a prison sentence which will not last long."

During the trial the jury heard that Flaherty said he had no recollection of the moment he throttled his wife of 52 years in April last year.

When asked who killed her, he said: "It must have been me. There are no ghosts running about the house who would have done that."

Good stuff here, you'll like it mucho is you're a fan of the late H.S. Thompson. Bill Murray apparently portrayed him to a tee long before Mr. Dep did. Going to have to track that film down - looked interesting. I highly recommend this film.



OK - the following film made me sad. I saw trailers for it probably a year or so back, and heard some rumblings that it was delayed post production. Dennis Quaid was just awful in this movie. The face that he donned for most of the film would have been better put to use in a laxative commercial. To bad, because it had a neat premise, but the actors (Forrest Whittaker) among them were just going through the motions. Oh well - whatcha gonna do? Hollywood will continue to throw bankfulls of money at shit like this, and let other actual scripts rot away on the shelves.

OOPS - GOT THE WRONG DIRECTOR!

LET THE HAZING BEGIN: here's a review that names the TRUE director, not the producer as I'd mentioned earlier. I'm rather red faced at the moment...

Laura (Belen Rueda) returns to the orphanage she spent time in as a child with her husband Carlos (Fernando Cayo) and little boy Simon (Roger Princep) in hopes of re-establishing it as seaside retreat for children with disabilities only to find there may be some former residents who never left. In Juan Antonio Bayona’s tightly wound “The Orphanage” nothing is as it seems and child’s play takes on sinister overtones.

Bayona belongs to this new wave of Spanish-language directors (most notably Del Torro and Amenabar) who excel when it comes to creating moody atmospheric tales of the supernatural with Catholic overtones. Whereas “Pan’s Labyrinth” took a dark fantasy approach to a Passion Play, “The Orphanage” is closer to the classic haunted house themes of “The Others” as it attempts to give a sentimental view of life after death. Be warned, “The Orphanage” is often more sad than scary, and those not familiar with Catholic mysticism might find things a bit hard to believe. As goes the film’s mantra…Believe, Then You Will See. Those with the patience and the heart will be greatly rewarded as the audience doesn’t necessarily have to Believe to relate to the characters who do.

Working from refined “less is more” psychological horror templates, Bayona delivers the formulaic goods. There will be a simplistic but heartfelt exploration of grief. There will be allusions to classic literature (in this case a very nicely done “Peter Pan” as Catholic allegory motif). There will be uncovering dark secrets from the past. There will be precocious children with spooky imaginary friends. There will be creaking set designs and manipulative sound effects to create “gotcha!” moments. There will be a creepy medium (an excellent Geraldine Chaplin) brought in for a séance. And there will be a twist at the end.

I'm too ashamed to type - Gave another man credit he wasn't due. None the less - a wonderful film. Go ahead and make fun you distant crowd. I know you will. Only keeps you minutes away from the video store, and further from a good film! No matter who produced it.

It took a while to shame Ron back into blogging - what's it gonna take for this lad? I'm assuming he's still aching and downing milk thistle after TBot's visit. But come on - find a new identity and get back on the horse. Miss and love you by the way. HarHarHar...

Wow - rather brilliant stuff this. Del Toro is some kinda spooky good at making films that captivate and leave you admiring their beauty, yet scare the shit out of you seconds later. Pan's Labyrinth was one of the coolest films I've ever seen and The Orphanage is another solid, solid film. Can't wait to see his take on the Hobbit. Rent this one folks, in lieu of thanks - send cash for Spanish lessons so I can bypass the subtitles...

Oh - and a Sundin update. I'm sure you're all awaiting my wise words. He'll sign somewhere. Sometime. Or he won't. But he might. Or he might host Swedish FearFactor. Or race for Volvo. I just dunno....

Our blogs ain't exactly Ticketmaster - anyone else tired of this shit?

A word or two of advice:

If you're heading to the video store this weekend, feel free to rent this:



DO NOT rent this:


Someone, somewhere must have pictures of both Tim Roth and Naomi Watts doing some incredibly naughty things to have roped them into such a pile of shit film as this. No redeeming qualities here whatsoever. And Brad Pitt's younger brother should just forget about this whole acting gig and instead act as Brad and Angelina's adoption liaison or something. A true pile of shit.

What a wonderful morning of golf. 53 year old Greg Norman led coming in to this Sunday, but faltered and was overtaken by Padraig Harrington who played beautifully. His approach shots on 17 and 18 were stunning. Brave, gutsy and surely the shots a champion has in the bag. Fuck, do I wanna golf.

After Padraig secured the jug, I strolled out into the back yard and witnessed a bit more beauty. It's a lovely, sunny day here and the yard is awash in tittering butterflies. I love their fragile beauty, and they often leave me spellbound. The yard of late has been home to an owl, some bats, and a wandering cat who likes to beat on Hiram. Hiram at the moment is keeping a low profile, scared senseless from the beating he apparently took last night.

Back to the yard though. On my post Open Championship stroll, I noticed a twitter that was no butterfly. It was, in fact, two pairs of Rufus Hummingbirds working some of the many flowers that frame the yard. I inched forward on my crutches, bit by bit. I was quiet and slow and got to within five feet of where they were feeding. They spooked, and took of momentarily to roost and check me out. They soon returned to the same plant and had their fill. I was so close I could see the whites of their eyes. I had no idea hummingbirds even had whites around their corneas. It was an amazing moment until Bailey spotted her 'Rope,' and feeling ingnored - just had to attack it. Stupid dog. Ruined a perfectly surreal moment; one of those moments when you feel a part of something larger, a kinship with the world in which we make this journey.

All in all, a great moment, a great morning, and another great Open championship.

Maybe once Mats has finished golfing, this soap opera will end:



TSN: A Swedish newspaper nearly started an international incident on Sunday as they reported that Mats Sundin has agreed to play for the Vancouver Canucks, a claim that Sundin's Swedish representative denies.

Sundin's Swedish based representative Claes Elefalk claims the story in the Daily News is completely false, claiming that reporter Dusan Umicevic contacted him seeking a quote. Despite Elefalk telling the reporter that his information was incorrect, Umicevic published the story anyway.

While the Canucks remain one of the team's that Sundin is considering, he has yet to make a decision as to whether or not he will play next season.

This is getting nuts - my Wed. prediction was off, but I get the feeling he's going to sign tomorrow.

Not sure what to post here. I haven't heard from many of my peeps who have already seen the film - but I have. I don't want to ruin anything for anyone here. I'll just let you know that everything you've heard/read is true. This is THE film to take the superhero genre to another level. Fucking incredible - and I'm not one to rant about this type of movie. I usually find it over the top, and lacking both the imagination of character development and a way of simply 'getting it shot' without pushing any envelopes. Once we were past the six trailers (Bond kicks them all to shit BTW)we took off on a roller coast ride of pure cinema. Simply put - Bravo. This is one fine film, and I can't wait to watch it again (this week?) with JFu. Sorry Lad, couldn't wait! I'm so biting my tongue as there is so much I want to mention here - but I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did...

The most appropriate way to review a film like this is as follows:

Thank God I didn't become an actor, cuz if I had, I may have been really hungry and forced to do a pile of shit picture like this one. And I'd be really upset with myself. And it would be there, on DVD, for ever and ever. And people would watch it, and sneer at you - laugh most likely.

Wow, was this BAD. I was really looking forward to it too. It has Vancouver, Leelee, and kinky latex clothes and shit. I mean, how could you not look forward to that right?

Brutal, not worth the cost of rental - not even worth your time if someone GIVES it to you. In fact, if someone does - you should question that friendship. Ughh - I want my two hours back.

The higher wound (or racing stripes as I like to call em) are the result of the skin graft. Whose results you see in the shark/bear like scarring you see low on my ankle. The 'meat' on the left is the section they 'flapped.' Which means cut and moved. The secion on the right is the still growing graft. I never want to be a burn victim - grafts blow. Not in a really great mood right now, but hoped posting this might get Ron into a scar/blogger fight or something! I can overlook the superficial, but worry about the depths of this injury. Maybe being free of the cast has made me tentative; but I'll admit it's wonderful to scratch.

Just found this comment about Pratt and Taylor while perusing the interweb:

I got out of radio and TV many moons ago because of the ridiculous egos.
Radio people thought they belonged on TV and TV people felt they were moments
away from the national desks or movies.
Professional shills who would sell their souls for exposure or freebies.
Eventually, they all end up opening car dealerships or shopping centers with
a PA system and a van well into their 60s, hoping the wind doesn't blow off
their wigs while they try to flirt with the women. Then it's home to the
trailer and the daily gaze at the .38 sitting in the desk drawer while
unscrewing the scotch bottle.
Everything you need to know about media people can be found on the Simpsons.

Oh man - that's some good stuff.

Park wardens have closed the day-use area between Banff and Yoho National Parks after a female jogger was bitten by a bear on Wednesday evening.

The Belgian woman, who is working in Lake Louise for the summer, was running on the old Highway 1A near the Great Divide day-use area on the Alberta-B.C. border when she encountered a black bear, Parks Canada said Thursday.

The 23-year-old woman tried to back away and make a lot of noise, but the bear followed her for about 100 metres. She then lay down and tried to play dead. The animal proceeded to circle and lick her, eventually biting her at least six times on her legs and back.

I'm no expert - but I think you only 'play dead' once teh bear has KNOCKED you down. Don't think laying down right off the bat is your best bet.

I'm sick of this story.

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2008/07/15/bc-robin-long-deportation-expected.html

Look at him! He was living in Nelson. He wasn't dodging the army, he was cooked and forgot what was going on. Fuck them, they join the ARMY and refuse to deploy - fuck em. I don't want to pay their way. I happen to have a great story about a war dodger who now works at the mine. He's forgotten the truth about where he's actually from, and the Daily News here in the Loops regularly prints his trash. But that's another story. He was of a generation when they were drafted and forced into a ridiculous war. This generation signed up, and now, scared shitless of yet another ridiculous war. Then they seek asylum in my country. While this nation's soldiers die. Fuck these losers, boot their sorry asses back to a military jail.

Always trouble out in that shithole:

Two people were in police custody Friday night following a boat chase that began in Port Moody, B.C., the Canadian Coast Guard said.

The incident began at Reed Point Marina around 8 p.m. The operator of a 12-metre, black-and-white speedboat took off when bailiffs attempted to repossess the boat, the Coast Guard said.

The speedboat, with two people on board, struck at least two anchored boats when it sped from the marina.

Port Moody police called for help from the Canadian Coast Guard and the Vancouver police, the Coast Guard said.

A Vancouver police boat, the Coast Guard cutter Osprey and the RCMP's chopper, Air 1, were all deployed to assist in the chase.

The chopper spotted the speedboat and authorities managed to stop it.

IZ - Over the Rainbow / What a Wonderful World

I like to add this once and a while, because - well - it's beautiful.

Erin, tis for you. This song reminds me of calm, lapping waves. It always puts in me in a finely calm mood. Love you dear.

El Nino - Sergio Garcia (Spain)


'Man Tits Mickelson' Somewhere gay.



Lee Westwood - South of Hardian's wall


Justin Rose (one of the best swings in the game) - also a sassonack.


Padraigh Harrington (Paddy) My fav. Irishman

My British Open Pool players for Geo's Pub's pool. Think I'm finally in the money.
Oh yeah - DRo is in the money!

Prediction - Mats signs before Wed.

Rob Davison scores from nearly 200ft on Vesa Toskala

This is our new DMan - I like him - that's great, 200 ft. Wow.

The Latest Canuck

Apparently Pavel Demitra has a sense of humour - or really needed some advertising bucks. Not sure, but I like this addition to the lineup for two years. The Canucks also picked up a big hard nose DMan which will add some depth to the blueline. John Shorthouse just reported on the Team 1040 that he has two sources stating that Mats Sundin will be accepting Vancouver's offer within the week. Shall be interesting...

Would hockey just start already.....

British Open next week - Oh yeah, Tiger's not playing, and he tourney is in England.

Think I'm gonna have to start reading again...shit!

GORBACHOV

Russian Zombies, and heavy guitar, buxom peasants. A singer who sounds oddly like Falco. Warriors with bloody battle axes and a machine gun, green zombie blood, western products raining from the sky. This is officially the greatest bad video ever.

Chelios, Kid Rock and Wayne rocking it out in Malibu? Odd pic to say the least - though I'll add that the 74 year old Chelios looks ready for another season. Replace him with Geo in his BD pis, and I'd be hard pressed to see the difference.

Yesterday I stopped at Irwin's for a snack and a newspaper. A fella was pushing his cart along the street towards me, and he paused to rummage through a garbage can for empties. I said hello, opened up my trunk and brought out the empties from my trunk I was planning on returning. Gave them to him instead, and he seemed very grateful. This morning, my lovely lady and I tidied up, took out the garbage, and loaded everything up from my stay at Ian and Shelley's place. Some of said items were the empties from the past couple of days. Trust me kids, you'd like to drink beer on Ian's patio as well. It's a beer drinker's Utopia. Anyhoo, I stopped again at Irwin's this morning for today's newspaper. Like clockwork, here's buddy with his shopping cart again, rolling it up the street. I once again open up my trunk, and give him what I have. We get to chatting. This fella is obviously an East coaster whose entire worldly possessions are pushed around in an old Safeway cart. I look it over behind the privacy of my shades, and notice just how tidy and organized it is. Everything has a place, from the tarps to the neatly packaged tent. He has a few Rubbermaid containers that keep everything tidy and dry. Like you would want if you're camping. It occurs to me that this man camps and ekes out a living daily. He had the clearest, bluest eyes, was tidy and neat by homeless standards, and carried on a lovely conversation with me for four or five minutes. He seemed sharp and bright, and was very likable. I've been thinking about him all morning, and wonder just how many things must go wrong to put a man like him into that situation. I gave him the few small bills I had in my wallet, to which he seemed very grateful. I don't care if he gets drunk or high with my money, I really don't. I don't know why, but this encounter is playing on my mind this afternoon - I wonder how he sheltered from the storm the other day, I wonder where the kids he played with a child are now, and I wonder if we're all only a few mistakes/situations away from such a fate. I only hope that if I were there, I'd be as pleasant and seemingly happy a man as he.

Alrighty kids, it's rant time!

I'm housesitting for my Bro at the moment. I haven't been enjoying it much - watering a yard on crutches sucks. Especially when someone else is being paid to do it, but seem to only do it sporadically. K, so I arrive at said house this morning (after the glory that is AC and my own bed) to return my sibling's dog and survey the property for damage after last nights storm. I've brought fresh groceries and flowers to welcome them home. All is well, apart from the fact the housekeeper (also waterer) isn't doing any of the the things that my Bro's wife left listed for her. I sigh, think about how I wouldn't want to return to this dusty, animal hair covered mess and set about cleaning it as good as I can on a set of crutches. I get to the kitchen, and notice an odour. I've noticed it over the past few days, and have completely rinsed, bleached, sanitized, and sprinkled holy water on the garbage can. Alas, I sigh again and go at it. I take it outside, connect with contacts in Iran and nuke it. It still stinks when I take it home to the kitchen. Now I'm sighing so heavily it moves curtains. Down on my knees, I investigate further. Ah - there it is, seems my brother forgot to mention the mouse traps. Little bugger apparently got into a corner while in the throws of death - judging by the blood, he moved a ways! Should mention that it's been 40ish here the past few days, and one can assume (trust me!) that dead mice and blood tend to reek in such heat. I've left an altogether snotty message with my Bro for not informing me of these potential reek traps which has to date gone unanswered. Not impressed, but I need to go - the clothes peg on my nose is getting tight.

Quantum of Solace Trailer

I'm giggling like a little schoolgirl!

The train wreck continues:

Sweet girl! Wonder if the punches actually connected? Don't think it would hurt much, she looks like she's down to about a hundo.

UH - this is apparently the Kyle Wellwood dude the Nucks just claimed off of waivers. A few notes about this picture:

His hands (and armpits) are soft: he's covered his crutches in foam. The hands part may be good. Or he's just soft like a little girl.

The table isn't littered with beer cans. Also good.

He looks a little chubby for an NhLer, which brings to mind all the complaints about his conditioning - time will tell.

He chose a BLACK cast to wear for the July sunshine! And you thought hockey players are dumb!? Oh yeah - that is kinda dumb.

Eliza Cuthbert is not canoodling with him in a bikini. He must be the one NHLer she hasn't got her claws int yet. Bless that hockey loving hottie!

Wow. Wow. Wow. Can't say enough about this book. I read an awful lot, but this novel really built up as I read along, and had me looking forward to my next session with it. Which happened exactly twice! I actually dreamed about a kitchen described within last night. I'm not about to try and voice just how much I enjoyed this book. I'm not even going to describe it's plot or characters to you. This book makes me feel greedy, I want to enjoy it solely. I don't want snotty reviews coming back my way - though that seems impossible. That all said, I'm suggesting that you all find your own copies. Erin, that may or may not include you. I'm thinking about hiding this copy and deeming it my own. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Apparently we've claimed Wellwood off of waivers and he has a broken foot! This better be a two way contract, because he sounds like the Glass Man from 'Amelie.'

I'm a little worried about the Nucks picking up a guy who's as excited about bearing weight on a leg as I am! Welcome to the third/fourth line lad. Here's hoping this acquisition makes the management in TO look as inept as they have in the past.

“I broke my (right) foot four weeks ago and it’s been healing really well and all the (tests) and x-rays have been great and I’m going to be able to walk on it really soon,” Wellwood told the Vancouver media during a conference call from his off-season home in Windsor, Ontario. “And as far as my groin, it’s been feeling a lot better and from the rehab perspective I think that I’m over the hump.”

Next up: Demitra.

John Hiatt - Have A Little Faith

Oh wait, I think this is the album I may or not have stolen from Geo. Or did I give it back? Hmmm.

In rebuttal to Erin's blog. This entire album is incredible by the way. Especially Geo's copy!

'Not now I'm workin...'

Classic beyond Classical realms. Beyond brilliant. Beyond Funny.

JFu and DRo nearly wet themselves when they first saw this - that old fella is alright in my books.

Oh man, the memories! Here is a compilation of the best and worst that was Ron Hextall back in his playing days. It's awful long - but the ending (in it's mustachioed glory) is tremendous. He was the fiercest (maybe craziest) competitor I ever saw. I saw him once at the Pacific Coliseum. He had the fastest glove I've ever seen. I had a pet rabbit in high school named 'Hexxy.' I painted his name and a set of pads on his cage. I loved him. I still have a Hextall Vic stick in the basement. Hockey seems kinda boring now without such characters. And lordy - him beating on Felix Potvin (Rrrrooowwwww) is some good stuff.

Ferocious attack kitten is available for adoption to any home willing to accept him.

This destructive kitty has been trained as a proud warrior and will fiercely defend your house, even against you. Well-trained since 10-weeks of age to attack anything in his presence, he will protect your family from evil things, including the following:

* insects
* other trained attack kittens
* babies
* toilet paper
* anything under a blanket
* unwanted house guests
* paper bags
* floor rugs
* Chuck Norris
* Feet.

Great with children (assuming you don’t like the children). Probably best used for professional catfighting. He is housebroken, but only because he wants to be. This attack cat has trained himself to seek out his food anywhere you hide it and rip the bag open to feed himself, great for those who travel extensively. Also trained to drink water out of toilet bowls and dishwater from items in the sink. Knows how to open some doors. He will find you wherever you hide.

Neutered (trust me, you wont want to him to procreate). Has not been declawed, but you'll figure that out really fast.

Understands and responds to a variety of vulgar and profane verbal commands. Has a very soft and furry belly, like a teddy bear - however he will bite your face if you try to touch it.

Willing to accept trades. Potential adopters must have experience with trained attack-kittens... please be prepared to show scars.

For the love of God, someone please take this thing out of my house.

A further albino critter for my blog. This fledgling albino crow was spotted in East Vancouver recently. According to an old Indian legend - when the rare white crow appears, the price of fuel soars like a bird.